tadaaaaa.
blogging again.

in a noisier mood now.
major moodswinger.
this is my third post for today.
i feel accomplised.
and i still have something to blog about.
O_O

yes- my mum nagged at me again.
dunno why. i had already told her that i would do it.
erm. but i left the music on my com BLARING.
and i went to the toilet and locked up all the doors.
so i think she thought i was still on the com..
and forced the router off.
PLEASE LA- I WAS IN THE TOILET.
CANT A GIRL RELAX IN HER OWN TOILET..?!?

and i had already done it by the time she nagged me.

if only she would listen to me.
i think my wish would be for her to start opening her ears.
and stop being so extremely stubborn.
and although she has just asked me to do my homework 5 hours ago..
i think tomorrow shes going to do the same thing and cut off my internet again.
and insist that she didnt see me do and that i was lying.
as she always does.

I CANT UNDERSTAND WOMEN LIKE HER.

i was made out of my mum's love for my dad and vice versa-
not hate.. bcus now she does seem to hate alot of things.

AS A CHILD i was supposed to be looked after.
but my BROTHER was a BOY.
so i think my grandma liked him more when he was young.
she still loves him alot though.
but i know she loves me too :)
shaun would have never taken care of me.
so i cared for him back then in my own ways.
but GIRLS LIKE ME were never noticed by my other relatives.

*this is something shaun takes for granted.
bcus guys continue the family name- girls dont.
and hes the eldest son. and my dad was also the eldest son.
and so was my paternal granddad.
nice bloodline. O_O

(and whatever achievements from me were never highly regarded-
shaun just passed his chinese..
and the whole family was smiling.
and i had gotten an A.
its still in my psle cert.
i rmb it clearly.
and i got a 240 and he got 208.
and my parents didnt even comment and said that was expected of me and i should have gottan higher.
and they said i should have got a A* for my maths as well.
getting A* for science didnt seem that much to them-
even though that was they ear when many parents wrote in about how hard the science paper was.
and my lovely trophies have lost their former glory due to the fact that no one even looks at them except me.
and probably my maid.)

and my parents were working like hell.
and they use that as an excuse to leave their OWN children to the care of other people.
that is, was and will always be a pathetic excuse.

*i would rather be poor, go through all the hardships blablabla and bla rather than leave such a gap between us.

and look what it has developed into now.
an unwilling daughter who doesnt want to give a damn, a rebellious son who doesnt know how to prioritise, and a spoiled to death younger daughter who goes into a rage if she doesnt get what she wants.

and theyre not exactly salvaging the situation but making it worse.
and she still wna give me that kind of attitude.
AS AN ADULT OF 47 SHE SHOULD KNOW HOW TO CONTROL HER OWN EMOTIONS.
still dare to talk about whos the ROLE MODEL in front of me.
oh wow. like i actually want to know.
>.<
it really pisses me off.
and im still SICK.
shes treating me like i never got sick in the first place.
i couldnt help it-
i shouted at her just now.
SHOUTED not SCREAMED.

*noelle will only scream if shes in high danger or if she is at the highest point of ANGER.

and im still pissed at her endless nagging.
and cruelly robbing me of the only money i have on me.
ROBBING.
its not like shes THAT poor.

shes unreasonable.
thats the only impression i have of her now.
thats the impression i have had for more than five years..
cause thats what i remember.

i think that "FAMILY WARMTH" and "COMFORT" arent applicable in my life.

just had another load of medicine.
i dont think its helping MUCH.
my nose is still running. and im desperately trying not to waste tissue.

i just realised that i blog alot compared to others.
O_O

having my ballet rehearsal thing at 7pm later.
i dont think im fit to dance..
so im just going to watch.
i dont want to stay at home anyway.
i dont want to see certain people who will make me lose my temper.

who knows what i'll do if i get too pressured.
...

i have alot of things on my mind now.
and a another whole load of questions that no one whos online now can answer.
O_O
ahhhhh. theres some blood on my fingers..
why must i do THIS...
its frustrating.
but im unwilling to let anyone else to do cause i cant trust others with my precious things.
and i get a sense of accomplishment when i DIY.
*thast what ashley likes to say.

my mood has been down the whole day bcus of something that hasnt happened. im desperately waiting. DESPERATELY.

felt like blogging AGAIN.

just realised all the fun i missed.
while everyone was down at bedok stadium for sports day.
im V.V.V.V.PISSED.

i feel like slapping myself for falling sick.
ive been losing my appetite these few days.
esp yst. and i cant eat ALOT ALOT now.
like what i used to do..

i really miss the old days where the only problem was homework.
and school.

now:
DANCE.
SCHOOL.
CCA.

CLASSMATES.
TCHERS.
FAMILY.

WEAK IMMUNE SYSTEM.
ACHES.
EYEBAGS.
LACK OF SLEEP.
UGLINESS.

MONEY.
TIME MANAGEMENT.
DEALING WITH TEMPTATION.
LACK OF ORGANISATION IN MY LIFE.
LACK OF THRILLS.
LACK OF FUN.
STUPIDITY.
LACK OF WARMTH.
ATTITUDE.

ive even grouped them.
not to mention the countless times i cried this year.
and that i nearly cried on thursday in school.
bcus of SOMEONE.
screw that SOMEONE.
and the lack of support in my life.
and i have to cheer others up when i cant even handle half of my life.
i think everyone's sick of hearing that i feel horrible.
but horrible isnt even enough to describe everything im going through.

and i cant make it sound so bad-
bcus theyre many people arnd the world who are much worse than me..
so im actually being spoilt and complaning..
but somehow- i dont wna and dont feel like givin a DAMN.

erm.
EVERYONE STAY AWAY FROM ME!
im coughing like hell.
and my fever's having MOOD SWINGS.
yes.
so apparently now im quite okay..

woke up at 5.15am today..
couldnt go back to sleep at all..
stayed in bed until 7.15am just THINKING..
thinking about a hell load of things.

okay.
erm. it wasnt so bad waking up early..
cause yesterday once i reached home i chionged to bed.
it was like:

SOMEONE (cant rmb who..): ''NOELLE! how was it?''
ME: ''nice.''

thats all.
then changed and fell asleep almost immediately.
O_O

yeah. cause i went to montfort's performance..
its a musical btw.
nice. very nice.
was trying not to laugh too hard.
cause i hurt badly when i laughed.
so most of the TOO funny parts i just desperately bit my lip.

erm.
included alot of cute dancing and SINGING.
basically whenever they played a song there will be ''things'' in the backgrd dancing along.
FOUR ''things''
thinking of it just makes me wna laugh harder.
so i shall not elaborate about the ''things''.

one of the ''THINGS'' included my bro-
but since he wasnt there he was replaced with someone who made me smile and LOL very easily.
and much more so bcus he was a ''THING''.

songs like:
shut up- B.E.P (okay.. they changed the lyrics.. was damn funny.)
LONELY- MR AKON! (omg- THE ''THINGS'' WERE SO FKING CUTE!)

and many others i shall not tell of..
erm. they also did the TITANIC SCENE-
the part where ROSE was FLYING..
blabla u know.
EVERYTHING WAS SO FUNNY.
BUT THIS WAS LIKE.. HILARIOUS!!!

and the ''things'' and the main actor did a LITTLE bit of ballet..
which i was like.. WTF!
it was just too embarassing and i ended up laughing.
as much as i didnt want to.
i was trying to cover my eyes..
but the temptation was just too great.

no wonder nick had said that they were copying my style two days ago.

okay. im crapping abit too much.

last part-
they danced to ''PRETTY WOMAN'' BOLLYWOOD STYLE!
like- the cast and the crew i think.
more than 30 ppl.

i must credit them for remembering such a long dance.
erm. many looked like if they were to BEND and SHAKE more-
they would snap in half.
BUT IT WAS CUTE! seriously..
and some part after that 3 ppl came in and did a LITTLE breakdancing..
and ended with a FREEZE pose.
one of the three ppl so happened to be my SHRINK.
so i was screaming like hell.
i regret it though..

erm. OKAY-
lets talk about the MAIN ACTOR.
im not going to mention names.
ERM- he can DANCE la.
his standard way better than those guys who play PARA PARA.
he was IN TIME-
and he was SHAKING.
like those BOLLYWOOD STARS.
i was like- WHOA.

and his acting is nice..
his singing is what i describe as- ''okay lah.''

oh. and last part..
he was making the club's THANK YOU speech..
and he broke down halfway.
like IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STAGE.
IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE AUDIENCE.
and just suddenly his voiced changed and his eyes were kinda glassy.
the audience was kinda moved.
ESPECIALLY ME!
O_O

WEIRDEST PHRASE:
''OH NO! NOT THE PINK FEATHER!!''
lol. im going to let you imagine.

--MAJOR MOOD SWING--
cause my mum just demanded some money out of me which i didnt have..
but she claimed to have given me..
so i just gave her my savings-
cause as usual she wasnt listening.
so im going to be more broke.
and im going to live on porridge again..
or dont eat at all in school.

yeah. erm. so they BOWED.
and BOWED.
at least it was coordinated.


then my grandma went to the toilet..
then i stood up and nearly fell over..
cause my head was really heavy and i was feeling quite dizzy..
but i just started walking arnd the hall..

the actors just chionged out from behind the curtain..
the first person i knew was NICK.
there was a BIG grin all over his face.
and i waved back.
then i think one of their frens rushed over to him and he went hyper..
and weiqiang followed out and started jumping around.
then eugene.
all of them were EXTREMELY hyper.
and then TD. who was jumping even more.
all of them crowded arnd and started SLAPPING each otehr on the backs..
and did some CHEERS.
and shouted. SHOUTED LOUDLY.
and took PHOTOS.
it was really nice to see them having fun together..
so i was standing arnd and watching them..

somehow i turned away.
and i turned back i saw TD coming towards me.
O_O

so we chatted for a VERY short while..
then he went away again..
then some time afterwards he RAN like hell out of the hall.
so i was like- ''wth.''

okay. so i walked arnd..
''WHY IS MY GRANDMA TAKING SO LONG..''
i didnt wna get outta the hall..
cause i knew i would get lost and might end up having to spend the night in the school bcus they would have locked it up by the time i found my way out.
erm. then TD appeared out of nowhere again.
and said he ran out and was waiting for me downstairs.
...
its clear that i blended in the crowd.
cause i was actually in the hall all the time and not moving more than 10m away from my original position.

okay. so my grandma came and i didnt even say goodbye..
cause by the time she finished answering my:
"where are we going..?"
i turned around and saw TD's back disappearing into the wings.
and i didnt have the guts to rush up and say goodbye.
so i just turned and left.

took off my jacket.
was wearing a pink spaghetti strap G2000 top.
with sequins.
O_O

went to GEYLANG..
to buy some things to offer to my GREAT GRANDPA which i never saw..
i only saw my great grandma..
whom i had known for about 10-11 years..
i miss her. @_@

so my grandma bought some buns and stuff..
and we had dumpling noodles for supper.
then she left to go to the toilet.

this group of older women came in and started throwing me EXTREMELY dirty looks.
and they started whispering to each other V.OBVIOUSLY about me.

then this guy approached me.

"excuse me- sorry to take up your time. there are girls like you in thailand who only receive less than a dollar for every time they service their customers. and many are actually younger than you. i know in singapore its a few dollars each time.. so i would like to ask you for a donation to help these poor girls like you in thailand. any small amount would do- like TWENTY DOLLARS.''

i was trying hard not to let my jaw drop.
LIKE I DIDNT KNOW ANY OF THESE THINGS THAT GIRLS DO IN THAILAND..
and i actually know more than him.
YES I DO.

DID I APPEAR AS A HOOKER OR SOMETHING?
JUST BCUS IM IN GEYLANG AND IM WEARING A SPAGHETTI STRAP TOP.

i really did wna tell him that im not ONE OF THEM..
and that i would love to help..
but imagine putting less than ten bucks.
when he said TWENTY DOLLARS is a small amt.

it may be.. but to me its acutally quite alot.
cause that's what my mum just CLAIMED from me.

so i said that i didnt have much cash on me..
which i didnt btw.
and there was this
"I KNEW IT- SINGAPORE GIRLS ARE LIDDAT. SO SELFISH AND HEARTLESS." look scribbled all over his face.

and so i gave him the extremely icy look in return..
cause he had spoiled my quite good mood.

thank god my grandma appeared.
then i think he saw..
and i looked at him again..


and he looked away.
SCKERRR.

okay. so we took a taxi home.

so my ATTEMPT to appear happy didnt work.
O_O

i dont know whats going to happen today..
i dont know if im having tuition or sth..
or if im dancing later on.
my fever's back up again.
IRRITATING!!!

and thers my MUM-
still occasionally coming in to STUBBORNLY (i know its a horrible word.. but i cant find a replacement for it.) CLAIMING that she had given me.
and trying to go through all the money which she had thought was in my wallet.

I MEAN-
I ALREADY GAVE IT TO HER.
WHAT MORE DOES SHE WANT?
CANT SHE SEE THAT IM SICK AND THAT "IRRITATION" IS PASTED ALL OVER MY FACE?
THAT WAS THE MONEY I HAD SAVED UP BY SCRIMPIN.
I DONT SCRIMP TO PAY SOMETHIN THAT I HAVE NEVER EVEN HAD.

AND I HAVE TO SNIFF AT LEAST TWICE EVERY TWENTY SECONDS
BCUS OF MY FKING RUNNING NOSE.
AND IM COUGHING AT LEAST ONCE EVERY TWO MINUTES.
AND MY TEMPERATURE IS LIKE 39.1DEGREES C.
YST IT WAS 39.3. NO BIG DIFF.
AND ON THURSDAY IT WAS ACTUALLY WAY HIGHER-
ACCORDING TO EVERYONE WHO HAD TOUCHED ME.
IM VERY VERY VERY VERY PISSED.

just came back frm the evil doc's place..
gave me so many diff types of medicine.
and ran this test on me-
he was poking this idiot stick down my throat.
as if my sore throat isnt bad enough already.

shaun went with me and my grandma..
shaun had to take this blood test cause his fever hasnt recovered since mon..
and he woke me up at 5.15am cause his vomiting sound was way too loud.
was trying to contain my own vomit though.
he scared me half to death.

speaking of sleep-
yst i could only slp a max of two hours at a time.
so i kept waking up..
and it took me a long time to go back to slp.
so now my eyes are even redder.

took the horrible medicine after lunch..
the tablet was so big la.
O_O
it hurt my poor throat even more.
stupid stupid doctors.

so i got an MC for today..
cause i missed sports day.
yes. thats sad isnt it?
erm. but im going to drag myself to shaun's performance..
even though he isnt coming.
i think theyre replacing him.
hes too weak to do it anyways.
my grandma and aunt found it a waste of money if shaun wasnt going..
but i told them im going there to support his friends too..
i think they were scared that i was gonna faint or sth later.

so i think theyre coming with me..
but i dont want them to.
theyre gna be complaining even if its super super nice and funny.
which i heard that it was..

okay..
the med's making me drowsy.. gonna sleep for a while..
and go to shauns sch later.
BYEEE.

just took the med.
sucked like hell.

and im forced to go and see the doc tmr.
how bad can it get?
and im having a major headache now.
MAJOR.
and my temperature is rapidly rising..
it certainly sucks for me.

just took a cold bath..
im freezing like a popsicle now.
freezing.
imagine me in a super big tshirt and a thick jacket over.
thats what im wearing.
and the aircon's not even on-
and my room fan is being borrowed.
thats how cold i am.

promised myself to get in bed by ten.
my eyes are already freaking red.
and my eyebags are much more obvious bcus im super pale now.
i dont like my reflection.
O_O

this sucks.
being unable to sleep sucks.
being unable to go online after this sucks.
so i guess i'll miss the meeting for the history project at eight PM.
sorry girls.

just came back from tanglin mall-
orchard there..
went to OKH and got my ballet stuff.
i met my mum at ORCHARD MRT.
then we had lunch at wisma..
then walked all the way to TANGLIN MALL.
i was dying halfway..
my bag was so heavy.
my head was so heavy.
i was aching all over.
i tried not to show my agony on my face..
but somehow my mum touched my hand and found that i was burning hot.
then she touched my forehead.
and sent me home right after that.
we were supposed to go and get a watch together..
but bcus of THIS.

and i was shivering on the way home.
walking in the rain with an umbrella that i couldnt control.
cause my arms were jelly.
and so i got wet-
even with the umbrella.

theres sports day tomorrow..
i dont know if i should go.
i dont mind going..
but if its going to be HOT-
im skipping it.
and i'll go to the polyclinic and get myself an mc.
my mum said so too..

and theres monfort's play tomorrow..
i wouldnt miss it for the world.
im going to support my BRO and my FRIENDS.
and im probably gonna snatch the front row seats.
kiasu? maybe.

i just hate getting sick-
my immune system is LOW.
i just met my brother at dinner yst for a few seconds..
and he chased me outside to eat.
so that i wouldnt catch his sickness.
but now im down with a FEVER too..
i feel horrible.

my fever was on and off the whole day.
ever since HISTORY.
i think what i saw aggrevated me.
and i felt like puking and crying on the spot.
but i didnt..
and i ended up SICK.
how smart.

sense the sarcasm and infer my current mood now.

im extremely disappointed with myself.
extremely.

just got home from dance.
was unable to get the steps and expression right.
and had to continue smiling and acting like nothing was wrong.
cause the rest were still going strong even with their bodies covered in sweat.

went to parkway for lunch.
didnt have much. no appetite.
just forced myself to eat something.
otherwise i would probaly faint during dance.
so i got an egg prata.
and ther were a few times i unconciously ate the sugar instead of the curry or prata.
was distracted i guess.
so was ashley.
the teh tarik was awful.
but then again- so was everything else.

before that,
we had our maths ca.
guess what? im gonna FAIL.
confirmed. i didnt even fill up THREE of the answer boxes.
i just left loads of workings.
why? i wasnt even sure of what i was doing.
i didnt even get ANSWERS.
i just made questions more difficult to solve.
like i will get method marks for that.
and its upon 40. i bet my life i'll get less than 12.
i feel so freaking pathetic.
why can everyone understand and GRASP the concepts so easily?
i was taking down notes and stuff.
but somehow it didnt make any sense to me.
i guess im just plain stupid.
and exam dumb.
i cant help but compare myself to others.
and i feel really miserable.
especially since so many girls here are smart.
and im obviously not.

this coming friday is sports day.
hating it.
going to get a worse tshirt tan.
and our class didnt even get into any of the finals.
how seriously pathetic.
i didnt even do my high jump properly.
i was only in the top eight of my lvl.
big deal.
im a failure through and through.
how my easy life seriously sucks.

and we have MASS DANCING.
like its going to be any fun anyway.
just dancing under the terribly hot sun.
DANCING. imagine everyone staring.
oh PLEASE.
pathetic sports day. and we didnt get into cheerleading finals too.
or long jump, triple jump, high jump, and shot put for that matter.
and no track events either.

at least one thing has cleared up.
one thing that kept me smiling the whole morning until LITERATURE.
benita thought i was insane- i was smiling like an idiot throughout the whole horrible chinese lesson.
ashley thought so too.
but now its been replaced by another long face.

and theres SHAUN to worry about too.
i cant help but check on him every few minutes since hes just in the next room.
thats my stupid brother who doesnt look after himself properly and makes us worry so much.

have to ask mum for $10 to see shaun's play.
shaun's SCHOOL play.
on friday..
at most, if i dont ask her.
its just ten bucks anyway.
it just means another day of not eating.
and thats not a big deal at all anyway.
as long as i appear there, i dont care.

i didnt eat lunch.
ate only half a scoop of rice for dinner.
facing a loss of appetite.
and not giving a damn about it.

doing more research on the jap occupation.
tired, but straining to keep my eyes open and concentrate.
unable to concentrate, but still researching.
its not exactly helping my already huge eyebags.

shall finish researchign today.
develop the script asap.
having dance tomorrow.
having to face ms chiam tomorrow.
and bracing myself from scoldings.
i can already predict the outcome of tomorrow's dance.
and its not exactly HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
nothing is ever HAPPILY EVER AFTER anyway.

my back aches like crap.
a poke feels like a STAB.
i cant sit up straight or slouch.
but im sitting up straight anyway.
im hurting like hell.
my body is dead beat.
my brain is hibernating.
and my hands keep typing wrongly.

and im unable to write in my DIARY.
i feel horrible.
cause SOMEONE has been reading it.
saw it open paged on the floor this morning.
guess who?

and my neck hurts..
i let amanda strangle me just now.
i bet she was just trying to make me smile,
cause usually i would get her back double and i would be highly satified and smiling after that.
but i just let her do it.
she couldnt lift me up though.
of course- im growing fat.
i dont think anyone can lift me anymore.
forget about ballet with guys.
but after that she saw my face and felt bad.
i dont blame her.
i actually didnt mind being strangled.
except for the slightly red parts on my neck.
i deserve it anyway.

feeling mixed up now.
as ms gill says: shit happens.

just changed the blogskin.
preparing to go for ballet.
just cried a little.
covering up the SLIGHTLY puffy eyes.
i couldnt concentrate the whole day.
i just felt so horrible.
and tomorrow's not going to be much better off.
the best thing-- I CAN ONLY BLAME MYSELF.

its three pm TUESDAY.
need i explain?
not really.

decided against going to the beach today..
for some specific reason.

told rachel seah that i was going to put on a long face today.
she asked why and said some people wouldnt like it.
how it hit me like a nail on my head.
talk about extra sensitive.

nothing interesting to blog about..
feeling horrible.
different reasons.
one of which- ive been having headaches on and off since english ca.
i just recovered from a minor one.
so im feeling numb and my head's very heavy.

had mass dancing for PE today.
i put on a smile just to make people around me feel better.
i wasnt in the mood to smile at all.
but i just played along..
MDM LEE approached me after that..
she was watching me the whole time.
i thought i had broken some school rule..
and i have broken alot recently-
ive been wearing brightly colour underwear to school under my PE shirt.
and thats an offence.
but its not stated openly.

there was this time last year mrs kong talked to me about it.
but i dont think it changed my mindset anyway.

mdm lee asked if i had ballet training.
was it obvious?
she said it was my style of dancing.
cause i was kinda relaxing and letting everything go and just dancing.
and she said she liked and enjoyed watching me.
ahha. its just PE you know.

even if it IS some lame dance called the CHACHA.
and its not even fast. its terribly SLOW.
it should be way faster.
and the moves were too boring. way too boring.

and then she asked a few questions..

and i stuck on a fake smile but NONETHELESS a smile.
all the way back to the classroom.
after that i peeled it off.

and stuck on another one during recess.
peeled it off in the toilet while changing into my blouse.
fake smiles work just as good as real smiles anyway.
and theyre disposable.
unlike sometimes im really happy (...) and i have a REAL stupid smile all over my face.

surprisingly woke up with no puffy eyes.
cause i cried even worse than when i cried over my mum.
yes. im a spoiled teenager who cant handle her easy life and continually finds fault at herself.

and im not going to be in a good mood anytime soon.
not until i get a certain someone happy again.
and swearing that i'll never ever be so insensitive and hurting that certain person again.
it really sucks now.
im REGRETTING. i rarely regret anything.

to me-
i never felt that i really meant anything to anyone.
but somehow i ended up as the most important person in someone's life.
and i hurt that someone really badly.
*ive gone through it, so i know how it feels.
and esp since some people who SOMETIMES hurt me are even more important to me than my family.
and i just did that to someone else.
talk about extra INsensitive.

TD- would you let me apologise?

im terribly sorry for hurting you.
i know sorry alone isnt enough to stitch up whatever scar i left you with,
but please PLEASE give me a chance to make it up.
and i BEG your pardon.
and I SWEAR IM NEVER GONNA HURT YOU AGAIN.
im SWEARING.
i just cant stand seeing you being HURT-
and i never knew i meant that much to you.
sorry for not trusting you.
and not BELIEVING in you.
for brushing away whatever help u offered like it didnt mean a thing.


im not going to smile until you forgive me.

just came back from tampines mall.
had ballet there O_O.
and i compared myself to ms pang's girls.
it was kinda fun la.
but our dancing styles are totally different.
hahas.

laughed like hell this morning when i came to sch.
read SOMETHING on the web..
as much as i hate girlish giggles and comments-
i cant avoid it, cause im still a GIRL.
so i giggled like hell along with it as well.
erm. i admit it was kinda lame,
btu its a GIRLS school with GIRLS and we do GIRLISH stuff.
and we need that juicy bit of fun in our school lives.
even though it is abit evil to laugh..
i ASSURE you, it is not THAT bad.

erm. finalised something for histury project.
we're doing from YAMASHITA's P.O.V.
ANYONE WHO COPIES THIS IDEA SHALL BE SLAPPED LEFT RIGHT AND CENTER BY NOELLE. I SWEAR.
erm.. yeah. its gonna be fun.
and we sorted out a few probs with the grp,
so i hope all will be well.
HOPE against hope. haha.
got a hint from history textbook pg 80.
O_O.

erm. danced the whole day.
im TIRED.
having my lit and engca tmr.
getting prepared to be KILLED.
haha. btu not panicking....YET.
i think im gonna panic tmr morning.

erm. today was an unlucky day for me.
SUPER UNLUCKY.
dropped my bubble tea and it spilled onto someone.
apologised over and over again..
but the smile on her face was fake.
>.< erm. and while we were leaving for dance..
ms hciam appeared out of nowhere and forced us to stay.
and in the end she let us go bcus i insisted that we HAD to leave.
bcus of her we were LATE.
LATE! for nothing.

and now im doing the RESEARCH..
ah. so stupid. but its my beloved idea and i will not let it die.
MUAHAHA. erm. O_O
and tomorrow theres a ballet full-dress rehearsal.
and i have to wear that THIN leotard..
i know this is kinda GIRLY,
but does anyone have any extra (the thing we HAVE to wear under our leos) to donate to me?
cause i just realised i had run out of them.
>.<
and i dont want to post the exact name bcus they are not only girls reading my blog.

yes. cant rmb what i wanted to blog about.
ill TRY to rmb, haha. GOODNIGHT!

its SUNDAY- around 5 something PM.
yes i didnt blog yst.
didnt feel like it anyway.

erm stayed at home the whole day until 6 plus..
had to leave for ballet. which was at 7.

erm. but somehow ms lee was having an openhouse.. so they ended late and we started late. at arnd 7:25 pm.
worked on the finale piece. the ballet-ish one.
erm. did the beginning only. O_O
we're SLOW.
what can i say?

tmr's gonna be a LONG day.
have school. have DANCE. have BALLET.
and something else after that. which i will reach home at 10something PM.
sad isnt it?

BUT.
i am looking forward to tmr.
bcus there is THE GUITAR LESSON!
WHOOPEE. conducted by my darling neighbour- Mr Alvin Ong.
^_^. and there is 'SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE'
which is at EIGHT PM. everyone go watch.
haha.

im facing a lack of what to say..
so im going to stop. in case i accidentally blab something im not supposed to.
or talk rubbish.

-ive been munching on cookies the whole day..
gonna grow fat. O_O