*waves* its 5pm now.
just came home from dance.
very very tired.
cause i fell asleep on the bus and alighted one stop later and had to walk home from there.
cause my ezlink's outta $$$.

erm.
went to parkway parade with faith and ashley and shermaine and syafiqah and denise.
erm. had lunch at banquet.
i was gonna protest cause i didnt have $$, but i didnt wna disappoint them.
so i bought chicken rice.
and banned myself from buying a drink.
but honestly it wasnt filling.
and the lady at the counter was so IDIOTIC and wanting to pelase the earlier customers and treating us like crap bcus we were obviously students.
erm.
then after that shermaine and rachel poured all the leftover black sauce and chilli and soup into this bowl..
wanted to play DARE and DARE.
erm. then ashley spoiled it by putting in her used tissue.
after that everyone just mixed it up.
but thank god no one ate it.
it actually looked like kuay chap.. bcus of the tissue. a
nd shermaine was taking it in and out of the soup.
yuck.

had to miss out on the shopping to go back to school at 2.
but obviously i left late.
erm.
walked arnd the whole school looking for dancers.. then turned arnd and was walking to the bus stop to go home..
and i saw the dancers across the street.
uh oh.
erm. i stopped midway and they asked me if i was free.. they had the evil smile on their faces..
they answered their own question and dragged me back to the void deck.

we gave up rehearsing for ms chiam's performance.
cause we all agreed that there was no link between certain scenes.. like from kittens they suddenly jumped into adult cats for the finale. O_O

and no one knew why i was looking around and who i was calling out to and what the hell i was holding. and why i was supposed to shrug at the last part.

erm. i was supposed to look for them and ask them to come out and shrug bcus i didnt have a clue where they were.
then i explained to them and we all again agreed that it made no sense. and then we dropped it.
since there were so little people anyway.
erm. they started on the teachers day dance.

SHH! dont let any of the tchers know!

erm. someone suggested fouttes.. and i couldnt resist and got up and started foutte-ing.
i did like.. seven?
but stopped bcus i nearly kicked someone.
then bcus of that i got myself into the tcher's day performance.
and bcus of me, they also included g natasha. curse or blessing in disuise?
maybe. haha.
erm.
then saw daphne attempting a sideway extension.. then i tried it too.. turned out pretty nice just that i was vibrating.
cause my inner thigh muscles werent strong enough.
but i held up leg high up there.
so there. haha.

erm. then we did a SLOW controlled front split down..

natasha was like WHOA. she was so SMOOTH.

jamie was too flexible and 'plomped' down into a front split.
i think she was faking the pain- bcus shes damned flexible.
erm. they also said i could do it bcus my inner muscles were quite strong.

they were right after that.
haha. but i guess it was plain luck.

erm. and a couple of things after that.. then went home and fell asleep on the bus. and the whole story starts again...
haha. no. okay.

erm. DURING RECESS!
yes. me and faith and shermaine agreed on having porridge.
but i got the least.. so i asked faith to donate to me.
she gave me four to five big spoons.
so i had the most after that.
erm. was sitting under a tree.. saw fresh bird shit all over but didnt give a damn.
then i saw bird shit land right inbetween me and shermaine's porridge. cause we were opposite each other.
erm. faith didnt notice.. but i told her and she freaked out.
shermaine slightly panicked.
on the other hand- i was faintly amused.
but i did check my hair and porridge to see if there was bird shit. NOTHING! haha.
so went to a table with an umbrella to eat.
i finished my food the first.
faith said that it was way too filling..
but for me it totally wasnt.
and somemore she had the least.
and i had the most. O_O

erm. i dont think its very interesting or anything.
but as u know im plain weird and will blog if there is something to blog about.
and everyday there will be something to blog about.
even if it is boliao things such as the above.. but STILL.
er. feeling weird now. mixed emotions i guess. haha.

----------------------------------------
since the blog clock aint really working..
FRIDAY, 24th MARCH 2006, 12 plus PM.

in the library now.
faith and ashley and shermaine and maryam are doing their home ec project.
and im here being and extra and having lunch with them later.
and i have DANCE after that.
erm. but it wont be that bad today i guess..

went to school with puffy eyes.
cried to sleep yesterday.
erm. family problems la.
i guess im too spoiled.
i come home seeking comfort but end up losing my temper over some small matter just bcus i cant handle stress properly.
SPOILED ME.

erm.
yeah i figured my mum went checking my school bag and read my diary.
and shes pretending she didnt.
and i was chatting with people on MSN last night..
and she asked me who the hell i was chatting with and how i got to know them.
and asked who are 'these guys' i talk to so often.

she made it sound like i was a hopeless flirt talking to a bunch of despo guys.
so i kinda blew up.
but bit my lip until it almost bled and forced myself to shut up.
i didnt wna say it in her face.
but i honestly thought that i should have my 'space' and some respect.
-my weird teenage self centred thinking.
cause i did truly respect her..
but lately ive lost alot of respect for her.
but i have done nothing much to upset her this year.

i dont really mind her knowing..
but reading my diary is abit overboard.
even though shes my mum and stuff.
she was bound to know sooner or later anyway.
to me- my family doesnt even know a QUARTER of what im going through.
so i turn to my friends.
and she blames me for that.
it doesnt matter who it is..
and i wont go messing around with weird people.
her impresion of me must be so horrible that she thinks i go around partying and doing god knows what with a bunch of guys. and theyre not all guys anyway.

BUT still..

later on i was crying into my poor pillow.
sorry pillow*
erm. and she demanded ines' blanket which was in my room.
so i had no choice but to open the door.
and passed her the idiot blanket.
and i think she kinda freaked out when she saw my face.
erm. and she panicked like hell after that.
and immediately asked if i was facing some trouble in school and if i was facing some guy problem.

how highly insensitive.

*but i dont think she went through this anyway.
my sources tell me that she was the disco kinda girl.
my RELIABLE sources.
and met guys in the CLUB.
like how she met my dad and countless of people before him.

so i cant blame her for not understanding.
but she claims and insists she does.
so as usual i let her think what she wanted.

i asked her to politely GO AWAY.
cause i wasnt in the mood to bother much.
i was CRYING- what do u expect..

then i went and checked myself out in the mirror
*i know its the wrong time to do it.. but i wanted to see if i was really looking that screwed.

erm. it was terrifying.
i looked like i just got raped or something.
i didnt know i looked so screwed and messed up when i cried.
never noticed earlier.
O_O

now im much more noisier..
but when i went to school i immediately sat down and put my head on the table.
which i have never done..
cause usually i would put down my bag and start yakking with people.

erm. usually i wouldnt get puffy eyes in the morning..
but i guess i cried too much for too long.
^_^ i made nazurah a little worried.
thats a very rare thing.
nazurah usually doesnt give a damn.

erm. blog more later when i go home.
the librarian said she'll book anyone who was blogging or chatting.
but she walked right past and i smartly hit the f11 key on the school's webpage.
MUAHAHAHAHA.
cyaaaaaz.
----------------------------------------

came home from school.
wasnt really in a good mood today..
just that i smiled at everyone and acted happy.

was supposed to help out with the class banner..
but ive been too busy lately- so i deserve a rest.
sorry girls- have to trouble you.
wanted to come home and think.
O_O

erm.
had nothing special today.
was slacking in class..
the same 'old' music was playing..
gave rachel seah abit more details of the 'SECRET'.
but i dont think its a secret anymore.
in fact- its really starting to piss me off.
i pass it to those people i trust..
but they just so happen to open their mouths and pass it on.
not all- but SOME.

usually i wouldnt give a damn-
but today i will.
its PERSONAL and it means alot to me.
and i think that people should respect it.
right now i cant do anything about it-
so stop asking me to 'ACCEPT',
cause i have already more or less done so.
and i dont pass secrets on for them to become rumours and spread around.

erm. but of course its not EVERYONE- its SOME.
so dont immediately think im pinpointing you.

im looking at that heart-shaped perlini's silver box i got on valentines day.
its distracting.
O_O

dont know what the hell to do for chinese project thing.
im hopeless at chinese-
i think everyone knows that.

got back my progress report today.
erm. one A, 3 As and a whole bunch of Cs.
and an E for my maths.
im very disappointed with myself.
my results are HORRIBLE.
i only got 62.2 overall.
but i cant focus on my studies..
and its really getting to me.

this year is really... DEPRESSING.
theres all the pressure from DANCE, BALLET and my studies..
erm.
actually i go arnd creating the most problems for myself-
bcus i dont like disappointing people.
i hate letting people down.
but of course i often commit that crime.
like my parents. and my audience. and my friends.
teachers... not applicable.
O_O
cause the teachers dont have my respect.
and i dont think they deserve it anyway.

the only remark on my report:
Noelle is the Geography subject representative.
thats quite pathetic.
those who dont have any posts have no remarks.
stupid form tcher.

i cant get any posts in the class comm this year anymore.
cause we've already elected semester two's CC.
and i so happened to be last year's secretary..
and my school doesnt like to have the same old people leading..
so they force us to give it up to someone else.
but nonetheless our class is in good hands..
so i shant bother too much.

ines is busy on the keyboard.
shes putting the demo on and pretending to play this nice piece.
my mum actually fell for it once.
but now theres no one else to show off to..
so i dont actually know what shes ''playing'' for.

erm.
doesnt it suck when you see someone feeling horrible and you cant help?
i assume everyone agrees.
=.=''
but yeah- its kinda depressing.
and esp if its your friend or something.
like how everyone in the class has their mood swings.
one minute theyre happy and the next theyre putting on the long face.
and i also assume that i make it worse often.
so i feel like a horrible spoilt little immature girl.
and its not only my darling classmates.

reread this chainmail on the 'rape drug'.
was sent by nadiah i think.
it doesnt allow the victim to concieve after she consumes it.
so people go arnd spiking drinks.
and you probaly know what happens after that.
erm. and its effects are permanent.
i feel horrible. as usual..
BUT after it is our responsibilty to ensure our race doesnt become extinct.
O_O
im just trying to put it in a nice way so that you all dont think dirty.
but i think i failed.

eelo.
just reached home from dance.
ms chiam wasnt here today...
thats why im so early.

i just found out that alot of people dont tag..
erm. melanie has only read my profile and entries..
and claims that she hasnt reached the tagboard yet.
erm. fann tagged- but didnt read my entries.
O_O
erm. alot of people read and dont tag...
someone go flood my tagboard later to shut me up.

slacking day today.
thought alot.
was thinking the whole day.
and it started raining..
which always clears my head and makes me THINK somemore..
but i ended up making myself feeling worse.

its still raining now..
just remebered-
this morning.. the music was on again..
no more gundam seed songs..
just that it was those old chinesy karoke-ish ahma-ish screechy songs..
was even worse.
then it changed to mrs kong's dance cd..
omg.
it was those old english classics used for line dancing.
it was terrible.
teerrriiiibbbbblllllleeeeeee.
yes.

i think mrs yong's avoiding me for some reason.
she was either ignoring or tao-ing me.
ah. TEACHERS. what can i do.

im living on porridge in school now.
erm.. its good-
cause i can go on a diet
cause its not exactly
and doesnt make me thirsty
and its quite nice
and i can save $$$.

yes.

soon im gonna be a saint and dont buy anything in school..
resist all earthly temptations and crap..

and go home and pig myself.
bcus..
I NEED THREE HUNDREAD AND EIGHTY DOLLARS.
for SUMMER SCHOOL.
its just a way of pacifying myself
since im not going for the NZ trip.

which costs 2500 bucks.
unless someone wants to donate.
or sponsor me.

it sucks.
O_O

erm.
i dont really have much to say today anyway..
cause i said whatever i wanted to to my friends.

okay. just thought of something.
if anyone is feeling rich.. just look down.
haha. joking.
heres what i need:
-A WATCH
-A NEW PAIR OF POINTE SHOES
-A NEW NOTEBOOK************
thats very very very very important.
hope u get the idea.
-A NEW WALLET

erm.
i dont think anyone would give me anything..
but i shall foolishly believe that its gonna happen and i will get what i want.
O_O

erm. okay. i think im erm-ing alot.
i think i shall go and cook something to eat.
im hungry.
hahas.
----------------------------------------

was tempted to blog again.
havent eaten though..
cause i was blog surfing.
but i didnt tag on most of them.

erm. yeah.
the school has been playing jap songs early in the morning.
ever since yesterday.
and they would usually start playing music a few minutes before the MARCHING SONG- which was used to get us off our bums and get to the assembly grounds.
but i usually leave about halfway through it and still reach there before it ends.

anyway.
so when i heard it yst-
i thought i was late. O_O
erm. so MALU lor.
then this morning i heard the jap songs again..
was really starting to get on my nerves..
then one of the gundam seed songs started to play.
and i realised all of the songs were taken from the gundam seed soundtrack!
which really pissed me off..
since im NOT a gundam seed fan..
and i heard they started to play it at 645am.
....
so much for being ''late''.

and this is a SCHOOL.
wth are they playing gs songs early in the morning...
--------------------------------

erm.
just reached home.
munching on cookies for my lunch.
maybe i'll go cook something ltr.
dont wna buy.
if u didnt know- im on some sort of diet.
to save $$ cause i wna buy stuff.

i feel very pathetic now-
theres only like 40 cents in my ezlink card.
dunno how to come back frm ballet later.
dunno how to come home from sch everyday.
and im now living on porridge in school.
cause its nice. kinda.
and thick. and cheap.
but not very filling. O_O

erm.
ballet later. at 545 i think.
im really tired today.
and showed quite a few people my famous black face.
dunno how to dance later.
i hope ms kok doesnt get angry.

i think u all realise that if something GREAT happens-
i'll be quite hyper the whole day.
or wear a gigantic stupid smile on my face.
and if something quite bad happens..
everyone gets a taste of my black face.

i hate it when my bad mood affects others.
but i would be lying if i smiled and said nothing was wrong.
and lying is bad. very bad.
and i dont exactly like feeling horrible either.
O_O
just dont let my bad mood get to you.

erm.
OKAY. IM FAMISHED.
gonna get something to eat.

I LOVE THE GUITAR.

erm. we now have this guitar course for music lessons!
and the instructor is my NEIGHBOUR.
hes damned PRO.
erm. im tempted to buy a guitar.. but i know its just on impulse!
O_O
so i shall wait until everyone thinks that im serious about it.
^_^
came home from ballet.
TIRED.
but hyper. yes.
erm..
i see so many people tagging!
i like to see people tagging.
^_^
esp since i put that little bit of effort into blogging.
hahas.
erm. im mentally unstable now.
and and melanie has given me a discount for the ticket!
erm. its actually td's ticket..
but nvm. hahas.
and erm..
OH YEAH.

EVERYONE PLEASE HAND UP YOUR GEOGRAPHY CA TIHNGYS TO ME IF U HAVENT ALREADY DONE SO.

later mrs tan go on a rage again.
like that time.. so many people have to do like FOUR articles.
hahahas.
but i always kena scolded for her.
so much for being the geog rep.
O_O


OH!
and i just watched SO U THINK U CAN DANCE.
erm. COOL.
especially all the BREAKDANCERS!
i was wowed.
they made it look so easy!
but when i try.. its... NOT!
erm. okay.. ^_^
im a BALLERINA through and through and i look weird doing hip hop.
erm. at least i think so.
hahahas.


okay. i actually sneaked online..
so im sneaking off!
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

did u realise that im dutifully blogging nowadays?
yes, its kinda commendable.


my head is damned heavy.
and it feels like its stuffed with cotton balls.
went to bed with a major headache.
went to bed at 12 plus.
not the latest.. but i woke up at 6 something today.
couldnt go back to bed.
my eyes are red.
sheeesh.


all this is bcus of the french connection.
which ended at 1030++.
when it was supposed to end at 1015.
as i expected-
it was quite disappointing.
wasnt well-coordinated.
some of the guys were jerky.
some girls didnt handle the scarf well.
some lost their balance.
but they improvised.
so td, who was next to me, didnt realise all the imperfections.


erm. met td at hougang mrt.
took a train down to city hall.
had dinner at kfc. funan IT mall.
had to rush to meet natasha and co.
but there was no need to rush anyways.
kelly had all our tickets.
and she came at like 0740++
td sat down o nthis stupid chair...
and didnt wna move until i actually had the tickets and could go in.
ah well.
went arnd with natasha and co..
took a group photo.
they wanted me to ask him to come and talk.
cause they felt he looked lonely.
erm. but i knew he wouldnt agree to it anyways.
so i went to sit with him for a while.
i dont think hes comfortable seeing my ballet school people all arnd.
im sure he kinda regretted agreeing.
but i was expecting him to say no..
but nvm.
so i just told natasha that he was shy.
got the tickets straight from kelly.
the tickets all had cancellations on them.
so it was pretty confusing.
ended up getting a good seat.
erm. ms lee was giving us [me and td] weird stares.
everyone was giving me weird stares.
O_O. i chose to ignore most of them.


the first part was kinda lifeless.
monotoned. and boring.
en pointe.
a guy and girl dance.
consisted of many lifts.
then after tht it got A LITTLE bit lively.


then the twenty minute break.
which td slept [or tried to sleep] for a while.
and he got many stares from many girls.
erm. and he looked elsewhere.
and asked me why they were looking at him.
HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW...?


then the second dance..
it was this guy girl dance.
quite nice la.
but again wasnt coordinated.
took very little basic technique.
it just used alot of exaggerated movements to look good.
or not look THAT bad.


and then another 20 minute break.
which i tried to sleep. but failed.
dunno why.td was smsing weiqiang or something
O_O
and we got even more stares.
td said he suspected people to think that he was a dancer.
nearly laughed out loud.
cause he said they stared at him right after the guys finished dancing on stage.
...


THIRD DANCE.
by then i was so bored.
and i forgot to bring my jacket..
and so i started to freeze.
=.=''

the dying swan or something.
it.. was kinda boring as well..
since the music kept on repeating.
and it was slow.
but they could shake la.
and they did cute little swanish movements.


and then a 3 minute break.
which was about 5 minutes in the end..
but nvm.


BOLERO!
erm. uninteresting too.
since most of the movements were repeating.
td said that he had the music..
and started singing the main tune.
oh well.
erm. its just that the music repeated even more times.
so i think he gave up halfway.
cause i didnt hear him after a while.
but it wasnt that bad.
the dance was OKAY..
more coordinated.
but not the best.


i must talk about the bowing.
they kept on bowing.
i think if the audience didnt stop clapping..
the curtain wouldnt fall.
so thats what happened.
so they kept running about and bowing..
and finally the curtain decided to fall.
and instead of standing still,
some were still actually bowing..
O_O okay...............



yes. and after biding a rushed goodbye to my fellow dancers..
i ran after td.. who disappeared quickly.
but nvm.
then headed to raffles city mall.
and we chose to walk through this football field.
man i regretted it.
i SWEAR i could hear frogs and lizards.
and td made it worse by talking about how disgusting snails were when u stepped on them.
then i MINORLY freaked out.
then made it across..
but somehow we didnt see this net fence thingy..
nearly walked into it..
erm. but we didnt.


went arnd raffles city looking for something to eat/drink..
everywhere was closing cept STARBUCKS and THE CARTEL CAFE.
erm. so went to citylink mall.
we checked the last train. 1149 or something. wasnt too bad.
but we felt really weird.
cause everyone was rushing to the mrt..
and we were walking to the other side of the mall.
erm.
almost everywhere was closed.. cept GELARE and THE COFFEE CONNOSIEUR.
erm. im not too sure about the spelling.
went to 7-eleven.
td said I was hungry.
cause i looked halfdead.
so i took a milo freeze.
made my cough even worse after that.
he got some heaven and earth drink.
reminded me of pee.
O_O


erm yes. i smuggled the drink into the mrt.
then went to dhoby ghaut.
i got a headache.
couldnt walk much. so took the traveller.
td said that i looked like i was gonna faint.
i hope that was an exaggeration..
he looked very tired too.
but i wasnt in the mood to say it to him.

dad picked me up from serangoon mrt.
said that i should never go out late.
O_O


returned mum her phone..
then went to bed.
was too tired.
i was having late nights and early mornings this whole holiday.
didnt help at all.
committing the whole day to homework today.
so is td. O_O


woke up to find shaun and mum gone.
mum must have sent him for his tournament.
waste of time to me.
if he wins its a return ticket to hongkong.
which is highly unlikely.


havent completed my maths.
going to start now.
--------------------