i absolutely feel like throwing up now. i dont know why. its SUPER uncomfortable.

and just to let everyone and anyone know..
i shant be online until the end of EOYs, which is the 12th of OCTOBER. yep. dad's taking away my darling internet to let shaun and i focus on exams. actually, its not to 'let', but to 'make'. haha.

its gonna be all straight studying from now. hell yeah. but i dont care, i still have my music:) i will survive..!!

i'll miss my internet loads. no more youtube-ing. no more dance.net-ing. no more games. no more blogging and blogskins. sigh.

okay. i just coaxed ines into taking one of the lozenges that that doc gave me. LOL. i was just very very bored, and it was kinda fun. i had to promise her that it WAS indeed orange flavoured, or otherwise i would catch shaun for her and let her spank him. which will never happen anyway. >.<

and in the end, when ines ate it, she was making all the weird faces, as if it was seriously revolting.. but i know she liked it. silly drama queen.

and i think..
that THE L WORD is a great show.
its this show on a few women's lives.. just that they're lesbian. it's abit sick luh, but it shows how the society views them, and how eveyrone 'should just be themselves'. haha. i absolutely love SHANE from that show (although shes quite an arse..) .. and CARMEN! yeah. they are seriously cute:D and that show is really good.. its a mix of everything while it focuses on a serious issue (lesbianity). yep.
too bad its not widely known in singapore>.<


rawr. i needa go stuff some food down my throat so i wont throw up.

HELLO!
of course i didnt go to school after all.. i did one longgg post about it last night, but there was a prob with blogger and i didnt wna redo the whole post. :D

i just came back from the clinic.. the doc was like: 'wah.. wear so pretty ah. where you going?' i gave him this look: =_=" yeah. hes a real english dummy. i couldnt really understand what he was saying. at first when i went in, HE SPOKE TO ME IN CHINESE! but i dont really know whats chicken pox in chinese, so i just told him in english. major wtf.

and in the end,
i got more orange lozenges! yumm.

haha. alisha's probably finishing her exam now.. cant wait to hear how it was. and i think the EL paper 1 is finishing too. sigh. i somehow got my mum to agree that i shouldnt take the paper. luckily she was in a good mood.. i left it for her to decide, but i put my disadvantages across and she understood. hoho.

im allowed to go back to school on tuesday! yay. finally i can leave the house. but its like EOYs all the way when i head back to school. im totally gonna flunk them. yeah. sadly. but im doing my best.. studying at home. okay. haha.


gonna go gaming. cya.

im dead. totally.
completely.
im going to school TOMORROW, to take my paper. hell, im not even recovered and cleared yet. and my fever is still on and off, and what if tomorrow i start burning up? and i am totally unprepared for this exam. can i say DIE??

im really really unhappy tomorrow. and i have a very bad feeling about it.

why the hell did i let mum agree to that arse ms chan? i am NOT okay, and i cant take the stupid exam and i'll fail it if i take it. i cant believe i ruined my own life. and besides, tomorrow morning, IM SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE DOCTORS. rawr. no use complaining.. its not like mum will see it and miraculously tell the teacher that im not going. sigh. BIG SIGH.

and i dont like my parents, final. yes. they make every single decision, and place such high hopes on me, only to end up scolding me in the end. and if they think its for my own good and will make me happy, PLEASE, think again. -_- its time they let me take ABIT of control over my life, yes? yes. okay.

and ive lost my appetite ALOT lately, not excluding today. i know im supposed to be on my speedy recovery, but when i dont feel like eat, i wont eat. because i'll puke it up or something. and no, im not anorexic or bulhimic or whatever. if i was i would be MUCH MUCH skinnier. yep.

and before i forget, GOOD LUCK ALISHA! im sure you'll do perfect pirouettes and arabesques and your pointe work will be GREAT tomorrow. you must wow the examiner. haha. and you SHALL beat everyone else in the exam, i assure you. ALL THE BEST:D

okay. im going to sleep some more before studying. lazy me.
cyaa.

BIG THANK YOUS to alisha, ashley, and natasha.

ashley, for passing my books to alisha.
you could end up injuring yourself with my heavy books. haha.*
alisha, for bringing my very heavy books over.
you could get scolded by your mum for getting home late, AND disgracing your anti-nerd image with my stack of books, and injuring yourself. :D*
and NAT, for sending me that cute little get well card by post!
haha. you must have been very bored, but thanks loads and loads.

shaun was hogging my comp until my grandma and dad got him out of the room, cause i still had chicken pox. HOHO.

actually, im not in a good mood at all, cause ive decided to head to school on friday. to take my english paper although i am still sick and fever-ish. but im not afraid of that, im just afraid that i wont know whats in the paper. cause, I AINT PREPARED. and you cant really study for english yeah?

besides, on friday im supposed to go back to the doctor. and i'm supposed to stay at home on mc all the way to tuesday. but who cares about doctor's orders.. and i know mum wants me to take the bloody paper.. whether im sick or not.. so yeah.

yes. i can do it. i shall be brave although i am totally clueless.
sigh.

at this point in my life, i dont really know what to do next. with all the relationships, friendships, betrayals, family disagreements-- whatever it is, im kinda stuck. im no longer in a position to DECIDE, i have to wait for other people to decide and move before i can move. im just simply pushed along to the wills of others. it sucks, when you dont dare to disagree, for fear that it may break out in a big arguement. and im just too emotionally tired to care about those small friendship problems and all.

i shall just study my ass off (AGAIN)

in fact, studying was the element in my life which tired me so much that i burned into a fever just before my chicken pox. yeah. just before i developed that fever, i was studying math at mcdonalds. -_- and now, i totally forgot everything. back to miserable square one.. i have to study EVERYTHING, ALL OVER AGAIN. yes, the thought of that is scary.

okay, im craving for ban mian>.<
shall go study.
byee.
i hate being forgetten*

had a difficult time last night.
cause of mum. hell yeah.
she was being damn mean last night, being a total B. i didnt even say anything to her, and she was like, "Everything you do is a FLOP! Why is it that you can't do even simple things right?"
it was a direct attack to me, and yes i know i'm quite a failure, but mum, you don't have to demoralise me like that.

it's not my fault that i'm getting poor results, i study so fcking hard and all, but my results still suck, cause my school standards are so unbelievably high. it's not as if i don't study, i'm just SLOW. stupid, whatever you call it. and whatever i do, or whatever i'm good at, you don't even appreciate. nice mum.

and it's not as if I wanted to get chicken pox. i know you're blaming me for that, saying that i shouldn't have danced (when i was actually studying), and that my immunity system is weak. yeah. if you had a bad time at work, be an adult about it, TALK about it. don't just yell at your sick daughter for no apparent reason. even if i am such a failure, i am trying to improve on myself, and it's not something that will happen overnight yeah?

and if i fail EOYs, then it's my fault, not yours, so whatever.
at the rate you're pushing me, i'm bound to fail anyway. just like what you said. it's not my fault that you set such high expectations for me. it's your fault that i can't meet them, and you get disappointed, and you call me a failure again.

i know out of all your three kids, i'm the most unpleasing and dislikeable. be biased if you want, it's not gonna affect me much, cause i choose not to care, and be strong without your support.

okay. enough. i've totally lost my appetite for the whole day.

alisha says she's coming today. to visit me, and maybe ashley too, with my books. finally, something to look forward to. sigh.

i like people who keep their promises to me.
and those who are willing to be up on the phone with me to comfort me.
in the wee hours of the morning.
i am grateful, yes. and i have a few words..
thank you loads and loads.
i could have never reached where i am without you.

okay, i'm gonna start gaming. seriously, to get my mind off certain matters.
ciao..

im unhappy about the SI winner. i just dont like him, and he doesnt deserve to win, cause Jonathan is loads better. and he'll market better than Hady. he'll be a big sellout. but thats what most of us singaporeans dont see, and in the end we have a second taufik. sighhhh.

singapore is already facing a lack of local talents.
(except ELECTRICO:D)

had porridge for lunch.. (again)
gonna walk around the house for the rest of the day. play with the cats. read another book. OH YEA, i found my sec four O level literature text. haha. the joy luck club. didnt know i had such a book, but since i have it, im gonna start reading.

boredom really kills noelle. yep.

mum bought me calamine lotion last night. doesnt work on my pox, and it kinda freaks me out abit, cause calamine is the stuff i put on my dirty pointe shoes. =.= you calamine your pointe shoes to cover the dirt, and also to stiffen the shoe. so its kinda sick when i put what i put on dirty shoes on ME. haha. its a psychological thing for me. and besides.. it totally has no effect on my skin.

and i'll probably WORK on my blogskin today. do the editing. yep. dont think ill actually change it today. since im so bored.

i wish i could go out to a vcd rental shop and grab some movies to watch. or actually GO OUT. i hate being cooped up in the house. rawr.

maybe run to the beach.. or go window shopping.. but i miss dancing the most. more than school, more than anything else. i wish i could go for classes. and dance fun stuff. instead of spending all my time here on this stupid chair. >.<

i miss outside food. i miss BAN MIAN.

and ashley just gave me the horrible news that she isnt bringing my books over. =.=

two words: im dead.
for many many reasons. rawr.

before i start my drama serial marathon with PRIDE,
i thought i had best just sneak in a little update.

i bet most of the O level students are wailing about their prelim results.
but hey, prelims are always much harder than the Os itself isnt it?
so.. just keep on studying as usual and itll all be OKAY:D

i am totally unprepared for my EOYs. can someone like bring my textbooks over already? haha. i swear i shall MAKE ashley bring it over. she said she would anyways. haha.

i havent taken my medicine this morning and i dont give a shit. its probably the reason why i dont ever fully recover from anything, because i dont take my med on time, or dont take it at all, or overdose, or just take it when i feel like it. haha. naughty me.

alright. shall go grab some breakfast and such.
byebye.

yes yes, i do not know what possessed me to wake up at such a time..
when i could still be lazing in bed..
sleeping till maybe one, or two..
but yes, im up. and im especially awake this morning.
OHAYO!
=.=

the pox of my chicken pox are really irritating.. yep. more of them are drying up. its sick. IM sick. and my headache is back, but less vicious.

its raining here.. with abit of thunder..
although the extreme inconvenience of wet weather, i must state that i love all sorts of rainy days, or the pre-rain period- with the wind nearly blowing me away and leaving my hair all askew- and the post-rain period. (okay i dont like it much cause of the snails.. but the weather is so nice and cold. and wet :D)

and to my surprise, im declaring that there will be a.. BLOGSKIN CHANGE! cant believe my boredom. and to add on to the fact that i have indeed completed all my books last night..
my, what a freak im turning into.
but yes, and a nice blogskin it will be, cause i still love my MINI TAUPOK MAN, but the colours are so drag.

the thing i miss most right now- good food.
the people i miss most right now- a WHOLE load of people. i want them all:D
the activity i miss most now- without a doubt, DANCE.

and now that everyone has gone back to sch, im in absolute loneliness. haha. sad aint it?
I WNA GO TO SCH TOO ><

okay. since im up so early this morn..
i shall eat a good breakfast, and explore the sights that i always miss while sleeping, and GET DRENCHED IN THE RAIN.
great plan:D
enjoy the morning people.
syonara!

just took a bath, but once i stepped out of my shower i started to itch all over again. if only i could stay inside my shower with the water on my back FOREVER:D

my search for COMFORT has failed, the itch is simply killing me. the pox that first appeared (maybe about 5 of them) have started to dry up. the whole CP thing is just gross. sigh. and since i seem to be recovering fast, MAYBE I GET TO TAKE A FEW EOYS! woohoo.

refering back to the exam timetable, theres this very irritating statement..
Candidates who are suffering from any infectious disease (e.g. CHICKEN POX) are not allowed to sit for the examination in the school. Only candidiates who have been certified by a medical practitioner to be non-infectious will be allowed to take the examination at their usual examination rooms.

1- WHY must they state chicken pox as the only example.. and im the only one whos currently down with CP. so its a direct attack to me: YOU HAD BETTER NOT COME TO SCH OR DIE. =.=" i mean, they could have stated other diseases..
2- "at their usual examination rooms" so if im infectious i get to take it in an unusual examination room? thats rubbish. theyre not giving me a chance to take EOYs. rawr. and why must they put it down in BLACK and WHITE with so much detail.. otherwise i could always twist the rules. hoho.

okay, im confirmed to miss EL paper 1 AND 2.. and with luck, I ACTUALLY HAVE A CHANCE TO TAKE THE REST OF THE PAPERS! cause the next paper is on 4/10, which is the following WEDNESDAY. so if that ass doctor says im all cleared, I CAN TAKE THOSE STUPID EXAMS.

im happy. im high.
okay, once someone delivers my books to me, im gonna study the whole neighbourhood down.
:DDDDD
okay, im hungry too, my appetite just came back, so im off.
BYEE.