finally im here blogging. had the inspiration to write but didnt have the mood to. so im here now, and ive got loads to say.. but of course, if i do, you'll probably take a day to read it, so i wont..
alot has happened to me. it can be classified under: BAD LUCK. very very bad luck.
minor things included: tumbling down the stairs, falling, knocking over things, slamming my foot under a door (which lead to a nice cut on my left foot), slamming my fingers, losing things, just to name a few.
more major things included: PUTTING ON WEIGHT! (omg im really heavy now. really.. im really going to go on a diet. a carbo diet. yes.) , not growing taller, permanently staining my pinafore with some oil (someone splashed it), getting more sick, getting scolded by alot of people, being very late, not getting back my results, getting lost, nearly being run down by cars (quite a few times), getting into misunderstandings, being talked about (in bad ways of course), and many many other things..
even when i was happy and sitting in the bus and talking with my friend.. thinking that everything was going to be fine.. and just at that moment, i suddenly noticed loads of dirt on my hands. super mysterious dirt.
rarr. unhappy girl saddened by herself.
today was a horror. had maths test (which im quite certain im gonna fail even though its rather easy.. cause i didnt understand a shit although i remember that the teacher went through everything before..), a rather OKAY english test.. and home econs ca (which was rather fun but very last minute for me.. it wasnt cooking.. sad.)
everyday is a horror. ever since i got my 'bad luck', if such a thing ever existed. im relating myself to the unlucky pair in JUST MY LUCK. maybe its karma, and i should go start to do good deeds and stuff. like the guy from MY NAME IS EARL (which of course it isnt, my name is noelle.)
sigh.
the past few days were the worst for me. and it kinda sucks when im neglected.. because being me, even though im not a attention seeking queen, i do need people to care for me, because i am DEPENDANT. because i choose to revolve my world around other people.. and i do like being NOT neglected.
and being me again, i couldnt take all the recent pressure and have gone into a unstable emotional state. in school im smiling and all, at ballet im just quiet, at home i try not to blow up at anyone (especially ines.. cause she should be blown up at for being so spoiled.. but of course i didnt..) and when im alone, its a total different thing.
and somehow, ive ended up blasting certain people that i cared for. i have a sudden want to jump into a state of serious headaches and wake up feeling light headed and thinking that im alright and happy. someone knock me hard on the head please.
maybe i need to consult my conscience. and hold a meeting inside my head on what should the next move be.
insanity is near for me. its just a few steps away.
im not enjoying my adolescence as much as i should be.
and dancing is not a stress relief formula anymore, its a pressurizing task. very. especially since the performance is coming up.. not long from now.. nervous.
and speaking of formulas, i think ive found myself an unofficial math tutor. but of course, dont think ill be able to stay focused and study math for any period of time more than 15 minutes.
hopeless. bleak me.
but somehow, in the end with the help of a helpful person, i always smile regardless of the gloomy future. even though i say over and over again that i wont be humoured, i cant NOT give into the temptation of happiness, even if it lasts for only a few magical seconds. it takes alot of determintation to steer me from my sulking.. as some people have rather unfortunately experienced.
i can only say that im touched.
okay. think im going off soon to eat or something..
I've Got You- McFly:))
the world would be a lonely place
without the one that puts a smile on your face
so hold me 'til the sun burns out
i won't be lonely when i'm down
'cause i've got you to make me feel stronger
when the days are rough and an hour feels much longer
i never doubted you at all
the stars collide, will you stand by and watch them fall? (by and watch them fall)
so hold me 'til the sky is clear
and whisper words of love right into my ear
'cause i've got you to make me feel stronger
when the days are rough and an hour feels much longer
yeah when i got youoh to make me feel better
when the nights are long they'll be easier together
looking in your eyes
hoping they won't cry
and even if you do
i'll be in bed so close to you
hold you through the night
and you'll be unaware
but if you need me i'll be there
yeah i got youoh to make me feel stronger
when the days are rough and an hour feels much longer
yeah when i got you to make me feel better
when the nights are long they'll be easier together
alot has happened to me. it can be classified under: BAD LUCK. very very bad luck.
minor things included: tumbling down the stairs, falling, knocking over things, slamming my foot under a door (which lead to a nice cut on my left foot), slamming my fingers, losing things, just to name a few.
more major things included: PUTTING ON WEIGHT! (omg im really heavy now. really.. im really going to go on a diet. a carbo diet. yes.) , not growing taller, permanently staining my pinafore with some oil (someone splashed it), getting more sick, getting scolded by alot of people, being very late, not getting back my results, getting lost, nearly being run down by cars (quite a few times), getting into misunderstandings, being talked about (in bad ways of course), and many many other things..
even when i was happy and sitting in the bus and talking with my friend.. thinking that everything was going to be fine.. and just at that moment, i suddenly noticed loads of dirt on my hands. super mysterious dirt.
rarr. unhappy girl saddened by herself.
today was a horror. had maths test (which im quite certain im gonna fail even though its rather easy.. cause i didnt understand a shit although i remember that the teacher went through everything before..), a rather OKAY english test.. and home econs ca (which was rather fun but very last minute for me.. it wasnt cooking.. sad.)
everyday is a horror. ever since i got my 'bad luck', if such a thing ever existed. im relating myself to the unlucky pair in JUST MY LUCK. maybe its karma, and i should go start to do good deeds and stuff. like the guy from MY NAME IS EARL (which of course it isnt, my name is noelle.)
sigh.
the past few days were the worst for me. and it kinda sucks when im neglected.. because being me, even though im not a attention seeking queen, i do need people to care for me, because i am DEPENDANT. because i choose to revolve my world around other people.. and i do like being NOT neglected.
and being me again, i couldnt take all the recent pressure and have gone into a unstable emotional state. in school im smiling and all, at ballet im just quiet, at home i try not to blow up at anyone (especially ines.. cause she should be blown up at for being so spoiled.. but of course i didnt..) and when im alone, its a total different thing.
and somehow, ive ended up blasting certain people that i cared for. i have a sudden want to jump into a state of serious headaches and wake up feeling light headed and thinking that im alright and happy. someone knock me hard on the head please.
maybe i need to consult my conscience. and hold a meeting inside my head on what should the next move be.
insanity is near for me. its just a few steps away.
im not enjoying my adolescence as much as i should be.
and dancing is not a stress relief formula anymore, its a pressurizing task. very. especially since the performance is coming up.. not long from now.. nervous.
and speaking of formulas, i think ive found myself an unofficial math tutor. but of course, dont think ill be able to stay focused and study math for any period of time more than 15 minutes.
hopeless. bleak me.
but somehow, in the end with the help of a helpful person, i always smile regardless of the gloomy future. even though i say over and over again that i wont be humoured, i cant NOT give into the temptation of happiness, even if it lasts for only a few magical seconds. it takes alot of determintation to steer me from my sulking.. as some people have rather unfortunately experienced.
i can only say that im touched.
okay. think im going off soon to eat or something..
I've Got You- McFly:))
the world would be a lonely place
without the one that puts a smile on your face
so hold me 'til the sun burns out
i won't be lonely when i'm down
'cause i've got you to make me feel stronger
when the days are rough and an hour feels much longer
i never doubted you at all
the stars collide, will you stand by and watch them fall? (by and watch them fall)
so hold me 'til the sky is clear
and whisper words of love right into my ear
'cause i've got you to make me feel stronger
when the days are rough and an hour feels much longer
yeah when i got youoh to make me feel better
when the nights are long they'll be easier together
looking in your eyes
hoping they won't cry
and even if you do
i'll be in bed so close to you
hold you through the night
and you'll be unaware
but if you need me i'll be there
yeah i got youoh to make me feel stronger
when the days are rough and an hour feels much longer
yeah when i got you to make me feel better
when the nights are long they'll be easier together
posted by N at
3:29 PM
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