And i wrote this letter in my head
Cause so many things were left unsaid.

went shopping with mum, dad and ines while dropping shaun off at work.
and guess what, mum bought my birthday present today!
she bought me..

a bolster.
a twenty dollar bolster. lol!
i've never received such a present(: haha.

and mum wanted to ask shaun to join us for dinner.
so she just grabbed a random shirt and queued up at his cashier to pop the question.
it was freaking hilarious(: and his senior was staring! haha.
we were rather tempted to buy my lingerie at his counter but i decided to spare him the painful agony of handling his sister's and mum's underwear:D haha.
he handles clothes with the tip of two fingers! loooool.

she got me a brownie birthday cake from mrs field's too.
i think we scared the guy with mum's debate on the colour of the icing:P

i really hate my birthday on a celebrated public holiday.
cause everyone's obviously busy and heading out to other parties.
i wish my birthday was on some not-very-useful public holiday like uh,
labour day.
or maybe boxing day!
you don't see anyone celebrating these do you. haha.
lucky ines.

i'm so tired i could sleep another year.
alisha's feeling happy today, and that's gooood(:
watched american pie for the first time today, and it's really funny. haha.
no wonder shaun likes it so muchO_O
it's kinda sick though. just like "good luck chuck", but they're both good.
i think i'll find someone to celebrate my birthday (in advance!) with me tmr in the day,
then head over to ryan and rachel's place for dinner.
it's gonna be really really awkward.
really.

and especially since they're so nice to our family,
i don't know what i'm supposed to do.
okay i do know, i just don't know how.
in this case, alisha's favourite word gives the most accurate description:
rawr.

but honestly, i don't know why i'm not as flustered as i should be.
tears aren't anything to fuss over, a lack of anxiety is.
i wish i could rant on and on to my favourite girl cause only she would understand the entire story.
i'm not sure who the "you" that i use so often here is refering to anymore.

I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Somehow I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
Cause I know I won't forget you.

happy birthday ryan(:

today was.. idk.
honestly.
dance in the morning was really.. funny actually.
cause to my extreme horror, nat added an elmo rap into the music.
and guess what?
it's about ABC.
haha i got a huge huge huge shock. and she added "the nicest kids in town" roll call part, as well as toma:D
so it meant a little bit of choreographing but it turned out okay!
and yes, it was fun.
(:

then rushed to dhoby ghaut to meet samuel but i somehow still was late.
oops!
searched in vain for ryan's present.
haha. and i met eleanor today. she's really nice and all.
and tall too!
but sam said she was like around half a head taller than him, which was bullshit=_=
i think i get conned by him at least three times a day.
it's not my fault that i'm gullible because i trust people. haha. wth.
...
rachel got lost trying to find us and so i had to go rescue her,
btu it was looking for a needle. literally!
and in a haysack i might add.
(:

played pool,
rewatched national treasure 2, (at the birthday boy's request!)
played pool again,
and dined at border's cafe.
the food took extremely long but the salad was pretty good(:
and ryan, thanks for offering to pay! haha.
hope you had a great day with usss.

however, i'm currently in a bad fix.
i have no idea how i'm gonna settle this cause i don't think i'm even entire sure of what i think/feel.
i don't want to but i do.
ever been in this type of situations?
i hate this multiplied by a thousand.

i feel so so weird having two entirely different feelings at once.



just so you know.
&thanks for the lovely present(:

sleeping with the light on:D
by BUSTED.

hello everyone! leaving in a mo to go extremely last minute christmas present shopping!
sorry sorry sorry^_^"

been through quite a spot with my mum, got into arguements and all on christmas day itself,
but it's resolved now. kinda.
i'm pretty scared of what's gonna happen next but all i can do is apologise in advance.
shoot me with a gun if it makes you feel better alright.

ryan's coming back to singapore today.
(:
and it's his birthday tomorrow. i think we're gonna book the place today.
once again, thanks sam! i know i've been ultra-reliant on you.
xD
pray tmr works out cause i want it to be the bestest birthday.
perhaps it's guilt. shhhhh.

ines brought ahma out to treat her to wanton mee, cause she earned quite alot of money babysitting eron this holiday.
like 50cents a day. haha. and she kinda chases aunty cindy for her pay sometimes.
eron's growing sideways. his face looks like a mantou, as described by shaun.
and i kinda agree. he's quite a stoner too. he stares into space alot.
but what can i say, babies are so, freaking, adorable:D:D:D

i think i've kinda told everyone about my obsession with kids.
haha. paedophilic, but i'm not okay. i wanna have like two at least(:
that's my ambition! rofl.

speaking of ambitions, talked to one of my favourite girls last night, and no, my resolution is not to find a nice nice guy for 2008,
it's the big O's monster. i'm gonna defeat it AND,
score whatever i want to(:
i've kinda put dance and ballet totally out of my mind cause honestly, i cannot afford to waste time.
and if i'm gonna date, i'm gonna bring my boks everywhere i go:D
studious right?
i know. i can't mess around next year anymore.
go me!

my hair's growing out extremely slowly. anyone got useful, noelle-friendly tips?
i know it's a stereotype but i want my prom pictures with me in long nice hair(:
haha. wth. vain pot!
.....
so another resolution for 2008 is not to cut my hair any shorter.
i'll admit that i'm very very tempted, but no. NO.

to alisha:
BE HAPPY SOON DARLING.
I LIKE HAPPY ALISHAS MORE.
and um, i know i'm not in the position to say this but honestly, it'll all be better. sooner or later right?
right! :D
hope you're much much better today.
and you are perfect to me(: if you continue buffing up, you'll be able to lift me with one hand!
O_O
that'll be a LITTLE bit freaky.

and also thank you to everyone who got me a present.
i'm so touched i could cry! (:

four days to go!

mission:
stay awake till midnight.

i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this.
mum's not allowing me to go to the christmas party tmrw):
i'm ready to break down the walls. she's making such a big deal abotu it.
so i told her:
forget it.

and instead, i've pissed myself off.

murder.

but for their sake and mine, i'll confine myself in my room till i'm sane enough to go down without screaming. haha. i'm such a kid right?
i know>_<
we all think we'll get what we want. and we get angry when we don't.
okay. i'm going down later to re-persaude her. haha.
it's just a party. and it's just a bunch of nice people.
and it's just free food, and it's just getting my present.
it sounds totally different when you take out the "just":D

christmas dinner was good. i loooove ikea meatballs.
merry noelle everyone.


stop pushing me over. i have a freaking backbone.

today's my super lazy day.
doesn't seem like it for many others(:

yesterday was so fun. haha.
went to the expo to catch cityharvest's christmas thing, with samuel and this guy called jeremy. and this TALL guy called zac. he's really tall. you'll feel like a midget next to him.
met nice people(:
someone thought i was 18 or 19. HOW COOL IS THAT.
the donuts and candy floss and popcorn was awesome.
noelle never says no to free food.

then went to bugis to eat some not-very-good udon,
i mean zac's ramen was lots better. money wasted eh?
wanted to watch warlords but decided not to take the risk cause i'm not even near sixteen.
so we caught mr magorium's wonder emporium at cineleisure(:
it's a nice kids show alright, it's um. funny at some parts i guess.

and then sam walked me to the esplanade. and i never knew you could walk that far, but turns out we got there early enough.
gave shaun leow a shock by popping by his workplace for a bit.
huahahahaha;D
i owe samuel a huge huge thank you. for keeping me sane and company the whole day, as well as listening to my nonsense. and singing "true love's kiss" (enchanted) and saying "it's magic" (mr magorium's whatever) for every insignificant thing. looks are deceiving. which indirectly means you don't look nice.
haha. joke joke,
THANK YOU!

met jasmine, jiamin, gerry, amanda liew (IN A DRESS O_O), nat (soooo pretty), ganpin, pearline, joy, alisha, cherrine, and alot alot of people there. it was like the whole of Crestar shifted there for a night. oh yeah, and ms kok too(:
swan lake was honestly not up to my expectations.
cause it was rather boring at some parts.
nat kept going on about natalie clark's WONDERFUL technique, which i didn't really agree because of a certain jete. but her extensions are nice(:
the little kids behind us kept talking and reading when words popped up on the screen.
"in the day she was a beautiful and ex.. eortic la (exotic) swan"
it was hilarious! and they couldn't pronounce "Prince Siegfield"
and "Rothbard"
:D

i was harrassed by alisha during the intervals. but i shall announce!
i missed her.
x) ah, i'm shy.
and it felt good to have her close after so long. haha. but she's still obsessed with a certain someone! silly girl.
and ms kok kinda signalled jasmine to smack my face. haha. wth, teacher so mean cause i haven't went for class for QUITE a while.
heh.
ah. feels so good to see them all again(:

reached home at nearly twelve. got seriously dao-ed by mum.
we've been having this cold war going on. it's stupid la, but she doesn't wanna talk to me so i can't do anything about it.
her pride must be really really important to her.
i guess that's the reason why i don't have a present under the christmas tree from her.
but i, for one, have a conscience and bought her a really nice present. so yeah. not like she's EVER going to feel guilty about ANYTHING.
-.-
merry christmas indeed. it's so cold at home that's it's snowing! maybe i'll throw mum a snowball.

i'm kinda facing a dead end cause i've yet to get samuel a christmas present, and i haven't asked mum and dad about going out tmr to the christmas party.
ouch.
wonder what they're gonna say.
"noelle leow, haven't you went out enough?!"
aye, it's christmas! shaun's not gonna be home so i'll feel so awkward and lonely without his weird jokes, and it's not like we've planned anything for tmr.
yes, i think i'l go tell them that.

i better rehearse with the mirror first(:

and um, i'm not quite sure what to say but, i hope td gets well soon!
i'm kinda worried.
and i feel kinda bad. but i can't do anything cause he's not even sick. but yeah.
you know what i mean right. yes, i know.
GET WELL SOON(:

i'm not making much sense.
someone's birthday is coming soon(:
i don't mean mine but oh well, indirectly i do. haha.
should i go buy another present? ah. i feel nervous. i have no idea what to expect on the 28th.
and i think nat's really really sweet to get me a birthday present. wasn't expecting it at all!
:D
you know i love you right? haha. wth. i'm straight.
kinda.
sorta.

>_<
whatever i'm thinking of is making me smile. (:
i'll go wrap up aunty cindy's present so that she'll be happy when she gets it tonight.
merry christmas eve everyone!