came home from school.
wasnt really in a good mood today..
just that i smiled at everyone and acted happy.

was supposed to help out with the class banner..
but ive been too busy lately- so i deserve a rest.
sorry girls- have to trouble you.
wanted to come home and think.
O_O

erm.
had nothing special today.
was slacking in class..
the same 'old' music was playing..
gave rachel seah abit more details of the 'SECRET'.
but i dont think its a secret anymore.
in fact- its really starting to piss me off.
i pass it to those people i trust..
but they just so happen to open their mouths and pass it on.
not all- but SOME.

usually i wouldnt give a damn-
but today i will.
its PERSONAL and it means alot to me.
and i think that people should respect it.
right now i cant do anything about it-
so stop asking me to 'ACCEPT',
cause i have already more or less done so.
and i dont pass secrets on for them to become rumours and spread around.

erm. but of course its not EVERYONE- its SOME.
so dont immediately think im pinpointing you.

im looking at that heart-shaped perlini's silver box i got on valentines day.
its distracting.
O_O

dont know what the hell to do for chinese project thing.
im hopeless at chinese-
i think everyone knows that.

got back my progress report today.
erm. one A, 3 As and a whole bunch of Cs.
and an E for my maths.
im very disappointed with myself.
my results are HORRIBLE.
i only got 62.2 overall.
but i cant focus on my studies..
and its really getting to me.

this year is really... DEPRESSING.
theres all the pressure from DANCE, BALLET and my studies..
erm.
actually i go arnd creating the most problems for myself-
bcus i dont like disappointing people.
i hate letting people down.
but of course i often commit that crime.
like my parents. and my audience. and my friends.
teachers... not applicable.
O_O
cause the teachers dont have my respect.
and i dont think they deserve it anyway.

the only remark on my report:
Noelle is the Geography subject representative.
thats quite pathetic.
those who dont have any posts have no remarks.
stupid form tcher.

i cant get any posts in the class comm this year anymore.
cause we've already elected semester two's CC.
and i so happened to be last year's secretary..
and my school doesnt like to have the same old people leading..
so they force us to give it up to someone else.
but nonetheless our class is in good hands..
so i shant bother too much.

ines is busy on the keyboard.
shes putting the demo on and pretending to play this nice piece.
my mum actually fell for it once.
but now theres no one else to show off to..
so i dont actually know what shes ''playing'' for.

erm.
doesnt it suck when you see someone feeling horrible and you cant help?
i assume everyone agrees.
=.=''
but yeah- its kinda depressing.
and esp if its your friend or something.
like how everyone in the class has their mood swings.
one minute theyre happy and the next theyre putting on the long face.
and i also assume that i make it worse often.
so i feel like a horrible spoilt little immature girl.
and its not only my darling classmates.

reread this chainmail on the 'rape drug'.
was sent by nadiah i think.
it doesnt allow the victim to concieve after she consumes it.
so people go arnd spiking drinks.
and you probaly know what happens after that.
erm. and its effects are permanent.
i feel horrible. as usual..
BUT after it is our responsibilty to ensure our race doesnt become extinct.
O_O
im just trying to put it in a nice way so that you all dont think dirty.
but i think i failed.