okay noelle.
you have to stop blogging so much.
people might think you're going insane.

NOTHING has happened, since my last post, which was less than an hour ago.
being alone and bored is never a good thing.
haix.. im in a thinking and moody state of mind now.
this shall keep me from insanity.

i just realised that there's always someone wishing me goodnight and telling me to beware of birdshit.
reading these kind of messages always makes me smile..
even though i may be in dire straits.
or feeling as if the world is going to end.
its just great to know, and CONFIRM, that there IS indeed someone SINCERE out there.
bcus all i need, is to feel warmth and sincerity from people, and only so few can give me that.

not even my family can.
*the imaginery gap between me and my parents doesnt seem to be closing up.

whenever im DOWN and OUT, there's USUALLY (i cant say ALWAYS) someone to back me up and TRY to understand.
i have to profusely thank the people in my life who are like THIS.
i strive to be like them, to at least be more SENSITIVE to other people.

but sadly, the wrong things always come out of my mouth when i want to help.

*ive put the guitar away.

this is my third post today..
isnt it irritating to see how much crap noelle can post?

there are many influences in my life.
they either make or break me.
i guess its pretty obvious,
that the influence of my parents usually break me,
and the influence of my friends make me.
*i hate it when surveys ask of your relationship with your family AND friends..
bcus the two relationships are very different,
and i often dont know what to put.
i choose to be influenced by those whom i respect.

ouch. my lip is bleeding. the skin tore.
this sucks.
i can taste the blood. its SICK.

the best times i actually ever had in my life happened this year.
not with my family of course..
it was when i could be totally truthful and honest to someone,
and that person understood and stood by me.
that feeling is GREAT.
so i, in return, hope to bring that kind of feelings to OTHERS,
and spread that little bit of love to those around me.
it's a little bit ambitious, but im gonna try anyway.

i hate it when i cant protect those i care for.
when i actually CAUSE their troubles.
alot of this happened this year.
when people are wrongly accused.

this year, up till now, has been a rollercoaster ride..
and i dont know if i enjoy it.

okay. ASHLEY's ONLINE.
WOOT.
okay
shall keep myself sane by talking to her.

currently playing: stickwitu