hey ruth.
the dance IS that BAD.

erm. just came home.
extremely PISSED.
bcus of this cheekopek on the bus..
i found him sitting next to me when i woke up from my nap.

he kept moving closer and closer to me..
and i was like *help, HELP* and being squashed against the window.
i could feel his stare on me.
it was just GROSS.
and i was panicking and freaking out.
wanted to scream..
but was in sch UNIFORM.
and i was sure like half the bus could see it..
but no one helped me.
SELFISH SINGAPOREANS.
i was frantically sending out signals to everyone who was looking..
but immediately they looked away.
AHH.
and i think he could like SEE my bra strap.
THANK GOD I WAs WEARING MY PE SHIRT.
and not some v-neck shirt.
i could feel his extremely hairy legs brush against mine.
*HELP*
i honestly wanted to slap him.
was on the verge of doing so.
then the bus braked so suddenly and i flew against the chair in front.
WTF LA.

then when i got off he like touched my thigh.
nearly screamed.
ARGH. i hate cheekopeks and DESPOS.
but this isnt the fisrst time..
like last year-
there was this weird nose digging and simply GROSS sec school boy staring at me.
very OPENLY. and his eyes were about to pop out.
and faith and shermaine were with me.
i mean- faith is so much chio-er la.
go stare at her. LOL.
he is GROSS. and digging his nose WHILE staring.
and hes totally not cute or hot.
he kept turning back to stare at me.
i mean- its either im too ugly to be true.
or i simply lookd crazy with my hair down.
or i was the most beautiful person on earth.
*i hope its the third. EGOISTIC ME.

and last year when natasha and me walked to her house..
then there were these bedok whatever sec school boys playing street soccer..
without shirts.
and this guy was like: MISS! CAN I HAVE YOUR NUMBER?
like he shouted across the court.
and they started whistling and laughing.
then me and natasha looked at each other and walked faster.
then the same guy was like:
EH MISS! NEVER MIND, I GIVE YOU MY NUMBER!
and walked damn fast back to her house.

and ANOTHER incident last year..
when this bedok south guy asked for my number at the SCIENCE CENTRE.
of all places..
he got his two girl-friends to ask for him.
i managed to wiggle out ONCE..
then ran straight into them AGAIN and my email was forced out of me..
otherwise i wouldnt be able to leave.
hes this guy whos in LOVE with hip hop.
and can breakdance.. and acts ah beng.
AHHH. he sucks.
and the next day a whole lot of people asked me whether it was true and whether he was HOT.
UGH.

and i still have a couple of bus incidents which i shall not go into detail.

so now guys STARING at me isnt that big a deal.
used to the treatment. DESPO SINGAPORE GUYS.
quite typical though..

okay. so erm.. YESTERDAY.
yeah. went to the beach alone.
the dogs came to me and kept me company.
how sweet and sensitive.
saw a couple very openly kissing.
like out on the jetty..
and i was next to them.
and the jetty is the first thign you see once you walk to the beach.
how very OPEN. argh.
saw this cool guy catching a whole load of small baby crabs with his net.
it was quite high tide though..
and ANOTHER pervert incident happened.
so i was very PISSED.
i mean- i went there in search of some COMFORT..
but ended up with THIS.
ugh. i HATE PERVERTS.

it really sucks going alone.*

comforted myself with a crispy chicken from the taiwanese street snacks stall.
the guy doing the chicken smiled at me in a friendly way.
so i felt a little happier.
and he gave me more than usual.
*i think hes the gangster like guy whom shaun talks about..
the one who bangs around with the cans of pepper and chilli.
but hes nice leh.

reached home at about 8 plus.
skipped dinner.
went to bed very early..
like ten plus.

had hockey for pe today..
i got violent. was whacking the ball randomly and it hit people's legs.
sorry diyana, amirah and alia and whoever else i hit.
sorry.
was venting on the ball and the stick.
scored only a few goals..
the other group won la. no big deal though.
partnered fatimah..
who let the ball roll straight into the goalpost.
wow. go faitmah. O_O
yeah- but fatimah rocks.
and we have the same notebook. :))

wanted to use the bag that the school gave us yesterday..
the one which mdm seah designed tht said:
TKGS CARES FOR THE ENVIRONMENT.
felt like laughing my head off.
this was to appreciate our effort in recycling.
but the newspapers which were 'donated' were those that the CC brought in fear of being the class with the lowest newspaper collections.
WEIRD.
the bag is cute. really. makes me laugh everytime i see it.
ashley used it though..
and me and faith are using it on MONDAY.
O_O

went to parkway for lunch.
with ashley, faith, syafiqah and shermaine.
ashley was kinda depressed.
then we walked around window shopping..
and i told ashley ALOT of stuff.
like ALOT. alot that should be private..
but couldnt help it lahs.
then the three of them left..

and i didnt wna go back to school for dance.
since it wasnt stated OFFICIALLY.
and i felt that ashley needed some fun.

so i followed her back to her house.
much to her hesitance.
went to the two guitar shops.
bought myself a few picks.
i love the ones which say PICK THIS PICK.
CUTE. wanted to buy ashley some picks.
but she didnt want.. SAD.

went up to her house to use the toilet.
her brother locked himself up in the computer room..
since he heard me and he wasnt fully dressed..
O_O
ended up pigging myself with kit kat.
and trying on the clothes that she oculdnt fit into anymore.
and i was like GARANG GUNI GIRL.
took the pair of jeans and the tennis skirt that she didnt want.
and she donated alot of jewelry junk to me.
garang guni indeed.

sang a few songs with the radio.
took a tour of her house.
which is located conveniently at BRAS BASaR COMPLEX.
which is right next to the national library and BUGIS JUNCTION.
and its a ten minite walk to funan and pennisula plaza.
and you can see the esplanade and singapore river from her window.
ITS A GREAT LOCATION.
and she has ALOT OF MIRRORS in her house.
how i envy her. ahh.

left at four thirty in her fear of her dad.
when i was at the bus stop she smsed me to look up at her window.
....

feeling quite neutral now.
and i think i lifted ashley's spirits.
*claiming credit here.
YES- I LOVE HER AND BENITA LOADS.
as friends. :))
they rock.
and fatimah and denise and rachel seah and faith does too.

*im owing other people money cause ive been loaning money lately..
to my brother and fatimah. lol.
my brother has his money issues..

AND ITS INES' AND SHAUNS BIRTHDAY IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS.
and i havent got them ANYTHING.
its not like they give me anything at all during my birthday..
btu i dont care. cause i love them.
like shaun doesnt even say happy birthday..
but ines kisses me like hell. haha.
i remember i wrote twenty bucks off his debt to me last year.
and i got ines a jigsaw puzzle.
nice big older sister. WHEE.
i dont know what to get for shaun..
i know he would rather $$ over anything anytime.
but i want him to keep my present or use it WISELY..
so im stuck. duno what to get.
ines isnt a problem though..
ines' bday is on FIRST MAY.
shaun's on SECOND MAY.
cool isnt it?
and im like the only december baby in the house.
sucks.

and speakign of ines..
was showing her picture to chiali, maryam, nadiah and nazurah during school.
they said that we look very alike..
which is true.
my mum, me and ines all look alike.
just that they say im prettier.
wtf la. i dont think so.
but my mum and auntie says that too.
i think theyre just flattering me.
bcus im highly unsatisfied with the way i look.
and im growing fat.
O_O

i know ashley's probably watching tv now.
im BORED. very BORED.

wanting to go out but having no one to go out with.
wanting to have fun but unable to find it..
wanting to be less stressed but everyone's adding more pressure.
wanting to be comforted but no ones there.