just came back from school.

yes- i have been very moody the whole day.

was thinking of my mum AGAIN.
*shes so depressing.

did the board game project during recess.
we've got it almost done.
and for once ive done my part already.
this basically means that i havent eaten during recess.
and ive saved $$.
O_O
and i havent eaten anything until now.

which is a good thing-
bcus ive been overeating and growing fat lately.
and i dont have any appetite WHATSOEVER.
so i wont be able to eat even if i want to.

had hockey during pe today.
played out on the wet, muddy FIELD.
was kinda fun.
got my shoes V.DIRTY.
ahh. my poor shoes.

had maths after that.
honestly- im hating MATHS.
TOTALLY.

oh well-
so anyway.
mrs tan came up to me and asked if i had maths tuition.
cause she said i seemed like i couldnt be bothered at all.
and she thought maybe i didnt have to worry bcus i had tuition or sth.
so i told her NO.

then she said that my problem was my couldnt be botheredness.
and she said i was very smart.
*nearly choked over my own saliva.
just that i had the wrong attitude towards maths.

i have to agree with everything she said-
excluding the smart part of course.
bcus i havent done anything SMART lately.
be it EXAM SMART or PEOPLE SMART.
or even LIFE SMART.

in fact-
its proven that i am have become very stupid lately.

had a very weird dream.
its freaking me out-
ALOT.
and it includes me.
and im really afraid that it might happen some day.

im MOODY bcus of many reasons.
obviously.

and i havent talked about last night.
came home-
switched on the com for the literature poem thing.
i somehow couldnt find the file,
so i had to go online and search for it again.

and,
my dad AND mum suddenly appeared at started scolding me.
for using the com past seven.
they were shouting outside my room.
and it was very lame.

so they switched off the internet.
and i blew up.
O_O its abit over dramatic-
but thats me.

had a big arguement.
about me being so secretive.
leading them to think that i was CHATTING TO GUYS AGAIN.
which i WASNT.
but i was gonna bathe-
so i had the door locked and all.
so that probably made it suspicious.
and i didnt have the chance to even look at my poem.
how nice-

i think they want me to starve,
and fail my literature,
and become a nun,
and dont talk to anyone except them.
theyre certainly acting like it anyways.
what CONTROL FREAKS.

if only i had my phone.
AHH. then i wouldnt even need to go online.
wouldnt have to worry constantly of being heard on the phone.
wouldnt have to borrow phones for many reasons.

yeah yeah. so ended up i lost my appetite.
and stayed in the shower for over an hour.
DRAMATIC ME. :))
was planning to go punggol beach to sit at the jetty.
but it was raining and the whole area was sure to be wet.
so i didnt think it would help.

ITS BEEN MORE THAN TWO WEEKS SINCE I LAST WENT THERE.

im so in love with PUNGGOL BEACH-
even though thats where the chinese were stabbed everywhere to death (using the BAYONET), machine gunned, or thrown off boats, or raped during the SOOK CHING MASSACRE.
*ive done my research.
its so REMOTE. and quiet.
and EMPTY. :))
and WINDY.

bleahs.
having ballet later.
gonna sleep for a while then go.


i think im suffering from depression.
cause im having major mood swings and blewing up for no reason at random people.
and constantly losing my appetite.
im DANGEROUS;
:))