i've had enough.

i promised nat that i'll go for ballet on sunday.
cause i feel kinda bad for pansehing her the other day.
and besides, martin said he "got cut real deep".
so i'll make it up(: i hope y'all miss me. haha.

i found out from andrew that he and alyssa are just cousins.
but still, coincidence much?
and yeah, he seems pretty cool.
not the typical vs guy i suppose(: finally, a guy with something resembling substance.
it's a refreshing change.

dance yesterday was really terrible.
we got scolded by ms foo for half an hour on attire and discipline.
and after that we got lectured by ms chiam till 430.
for the remaining one hour, we did barre work. i was really bored. and we did only three, four exercises?
i miss the old dance club so much. i don't want it to die either, but we're simply not in a position to do anything. no performances, no corner to corner, no senior-junior things.
thanks to the school's tight grip on their money cause of the rebuilding. urgh.

my last year as a senior here isn't gonna be very memorable.
we'll be known as the last batch that has "potential". even so, our potential is as little and insignificant as the fullstop at the end of this sentence.
grant us the last few months to make things better.

so with everything going on in my head, i kinda lost my cool in school today.
and i got pissed at many small things. including daphne (who is quite small).
i screwed that one up bad.

i can't wait any longer for the holidays. i need the fresh air of the beach.

last night i was trying to talk to at least six people at once. it was crazy.
it was all good to catch up with her (and everyone else) again, but i nearly gave it all away.
(: oops.
till now, i can't decide. i must be slowly, but very surely, losing my mind.
the phase has lasted too long.
and even if i told her, nothing'll change anyway.
i want to be happy too.

Oh, and if you can't hold on,
Let it go and come back in your heart.
And if you can't hold on,
Maybe it's not time for you.

And if you can't hold on,
On your very last try,
I'll be there so you know that you're not alone.

ah, i'm disgusted by the pack of fats at my belly.
i told alisha i'll go slim down and get a tan and dye my hair blonde. cause we were momentarily inspired by Jessica Alba. trust alisha to find the hottest pictures eh. haha.

i'm really tired.
so won't you do me the biggest favor? stop making me feel guilty. stop everything. and just let me go. you've got to be responsible for yourself. pick up your own shit and go like everyone else does you know? it's enough, really. it's unnecessary stress.
don't rely on me. i've got more than enough on my own, tyvm.
don't make yourself out to be someone so weak and fragile; you're not that.
you're just simply escaping reality, under the disguise of time.

I'll be there in the morning to pull you through.