FYI PEOPLE.
YOU DONT NEED TO WEAR SCH UNIFORM FOR THE DANCE PERFORMANCE.
BLOODY HELL- ITS AT VICTORIA THEATRE-
A PUBLIC PLACE.
what kind of weird question is that.. O_O
just wear whatever you want lah.
imagine the whole school going in school uniform.
siao.

i think im going to punggol beach later..
havent been there in like.. 2 weeks?
*just gave fatimah a slap bcus she went on fanfiction-
and she told me to slap her if she did..
so i gave her a really pathetic slap*
so yeah.
i think i'll go and sit there the whole afternoon alone.
i dont think im going home first..
just going in my school uniform.

im really tired..
was dancing until eight plus yesterday.
reach home ten plus..
still had to do english.. then went to bed LATE.
and im still trying to be friggin hyper today.

*YES FATIMAH- I KNOW THAT ITS LOSER-ISH AND STUFF..
JUST DONT SAY IT IN FRONT OF ME CAUSE I GET EASILY AFFECTED WHEN IT COMES TO THESE KINDA THINGS. and dont go around announcing it either. O_O*

hmph.

sorry- but i HAVE to rant about the performance..
she re-did many of MY scenes yesterday..
and i was expected to CHANGE imeediately-
which i did.. but it was draining.
its draining to perform.. except dancing of course.
i would rather do a dance solo than do this.
i cant imagine EVERYONE sitting in the audience..
and LOOKING at ME..
bcus ive never ever done anything like this before..
and i dont really have confidence in myself for this..
ive never SOLO-ED a MIME.
DANCING IS TONNES EASIER.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH.
and i was angry at myself last night..
couldnt dance properly.
was losing my balance and all.
WHY THE F DO I GET TIRED SO EASILY.
IT WASNT THIS HARD LAST TIME..
LIKE ONE YEAR AGO?
I JUST HATE THE WAY MY BODY SWITCHES OFF.

its scary.. when everyone's expecting so much.
and you can only offer and assure so little.

and im still banned from the internet..
so spending my recess surfing is my only resort.
and that means SKIPPING RECESS.
which means NOT EATING, SAVING MONEY AND NOT GROWING FAT.
which is good..
..fatimah interrupts..
IF YOU'RE FAT, THEN I'M OBESE LOR!!!
Grrrrr
..end interruption...
i just need to have a less distractions.
and more ENDURANCE.
so that i wont end up stuffing myself..
and bingeing later.

i think its high time i went on a BREAK.
like SERIOUSLY.
i think im forcing myself too much sometimes..
or its OTHERS forcing me.

must endure. MUST.
i dont care if i sustain an injury or anything..
but i MUST force myself to do this.
for the sake of this bloody performance.
besides- i get so easily injured nowadays..
it doesnt really make a difference.
just more pain. but no pain no gain. O_O
I WANT A MASSAGING CHAIR...BOO.
I SHOULD INVEST IN ONE.

and im seeing depressed souls worse than myself..
so i feel extremely guilty of ignoring their feelings.
and COMPLAINING so much.

and people-
NOELLE HAS DECIDED TO KEEP HER HAIR LONG.

yeah. that was random..
but ive been askign people whether to cut short or leave long..
and even though majority said CUT SHORT when i showed them my pic..
i dont care- and im growing it long..

i can keep dreaming if i still want my guitar..
think of the COURSE FEES. and the guitar. O_O
and im most probably forking out the cash by myself..
even though its ENRICHMENT-
and parents are usually supposed to pay.
i think i'll go for a course in june or something.

yesterday's guitar lesson was horrible..
bcus i couldnt play ANYTHING.
NOTHING. ive never been more pissed at myself than yesterday..

and i HATE THIS BLOGSKIN AND CANT WAIT TO GET MY INTERNET BACK.
ill change it once i do..
i HOPE i can get the internet back by this week..
since shaun's exams finish on thursday..
no- it actually finishes on wednesday. O_O
and vesak day will be.. boring..
i WANT to go out.. and have fun.
but my parents probably will say-
NOELLE YOUVE ALREADY GONE OUT ONCE THIS MONTH.
which i find highly ridiculous..
but in the end ill end up stoning on my bed again.
ONCE A MONTH IS JUST WEIRD.
i dont care. if they dont allow then ill just stay at home and become a dull jane.
and ill skip all meals in an attempt to diet.
maybe i should really try that on friday. O_O

okay.
okay. i think ive blabbed enough..
*btw- this world can be so devoid of love sometimes..*
BYEEEEEEEEEEEE.