was gonna write some fascinating tale about today,
but mdm goh just spoiled my entire mood.

''Noelle, please note too that it will not harm you to learn the etiquette of writng a formal e-mail. You need to address the person and end it graciously with a farewell note and your name. It might save you in the future from wondering why nobody called you up for interviews - at the way you 'write', it can easliy end up in the trash can.''

oh mdm goh, i spent my entire night typing out that huge list of info for you,
and you curse me?
wow.
i'm sorry if an informal email does not appear like a businesslike, prim and proper, and outrageously formal letter, just as your requirements expect it to be.
i guess my work went without gratefulness. why couldn't you just sign the whole class up yourself, type in all their illegible emails and numbers, and compile a list?
i could be dancing you know:)
but eitherway, i guess only half the class is going because absolutely nobody is interested in going for a conference?

i wasn't expecting her to be so crude. its outrageous. its INFORMAL.
that woman drives me up the wall.

note: i did end graciously WITH my name and regards, and i did mention that it was to mdm goh. i just checkedO_O well, if she's unappreciative, so be it alright.

yeah well, just came home from my doctor visit, much to my resistance. it's an ALLERGY.
to some unknown form of food/contact. well, i haven't done anything otuside ballet, school and my usual places.
and i told my maid (who's a nurse), and she said it might be AIR ALLERGY.
@_@
oh wow. i need to be in a spacesuit 24/7 then. she says it may be caused by the weather or the air carrying substances which i'm allergic to.

and today's DISC profiling was pretty fun:)
it was rather spot on for me too. i can't wait for the camp now,
but i can (and will) wait if a certain person didn't go.
ergh, i can't believe she said that. it totally changed my impression of her.
please, i believe the school definately has less bitchy leaders to go in her place.
and if we're in the same team, it's gonna be hell awkward.

i didn't really mind her, but now i do. i guess some girls are just plain twofaced. and if you don't like me,
by all means, just spit it out,
no point acting nice when the others are around and bitching to someone else.
i really don't know what to say to her anymore.

turns out that im a Type I person,
people oriented and active. which means Influencing i guess.
and it says that my greatest fear is: rejection.
hit the nail on my head.

the fear of rejection drives me to do many things,
but it depends who the rejection comes from:)
duh, i'm not so easily manipulated:)

i guess certain days are really good for me,
and others are sad.
today was a down one, just thinking about the phone calls every night made me tear.
and finding out that certain people just couldn't see any good in me made my day worse.
and of all people too.

i used to proudly boast and announce that i wasn't affected,
i didn't give a damn about what others said and thought of me.
truth is, i always did. i could never not get affected by such trivial issues,
and it made me only more self-concious.
but too often my pride wouldn't let it show; i would always be seen smiling.
even during times where i failed subjects and cried, i smiled.

it's a little messed up you see.

&
times when i need the comfort from loved ones,
it never came.


and if you were to just poke me again,
i would simply fall to the ground and break down.