as i said on my tagboard, i DID blog yesterday about yesterday, but somehow it didnt get blogged, and im not going to reblog it. photos and pics will be uploaded, anyone who wants them tell me.

all i can repeat about yesterday is: I <3 21.7.2006

alright.
this morning i woke up with my handphone next to me, and taken out from the charger. and i found myself sleeping very comforatbly on the mattress.. which was on the hard floor. having a weird instinct, i went to check out my inbox. turns out that there were two supposedly unread messages which have been read. and i dont have any recollection in my head of the two messages. alot of thoughts flew through my mind.
1. someone could have read it and placed the phone beside me.
2. i can do things in my sleep, which is a very frightening thought.
3. i woke up, read my messages, and went back to sleep without noticing it. and this would be the first time something like that happened.

if it was 1, im more or less dead/going to die. if 2, i need to tie myself to my bed, unless i want myself killed. if 3, i have no worries.
but it cant be three, because im not like that.
ARGH.

so anyway, i am/will be very emotional and crappy today. so dont read on if you dont want to.

i hate breaking hearts. i absolutely HATE it. because i have been under that treatment myself. and i know how it feels like. it really sucks. staying up late just thinking of SOMEONE.

but at some point in time, we have to make sacrifices for what we want. and because we humans are rather selfish, we do cause mental and maybe physical pain to others.

i am a soft-hearted heartbreaker. makes sense?

two days ago, faith, ashley and i were on the bus to bras basar to get materials for school. faith apparently rejected someone and caused that someone quite abit of pain. then she was talking about how guilty she will feel after doing thigns like that. and i agreed very strongly. i made a statement: we should all be ugly nerds. then we dont have to go through all this.

and i have caused that much pain to many other people. i dont think i need to state reasons for doing so, so i wont.

lucky is he who thinks that women are trouble and doesnt get himself involved in any relationships. one such 'he' is my brother. how noble. and smart.

and many people tell me to 'just dump him' ('him' in this case refers to alot of people), as if it were just a simple matter. well, maybe it is, but being me i often think about matters so much and make mountains out of molehills. and part of the 'thinking' includes imagining how they'll feel and how well/badly they'll take it. which makes me feel worse. because i dont like to make people suffer. i dont seem the type, but now im telling you, so listen if you've read until here. no, im joking.

just dont wait for me. it'll do you alot of good. im serious..

alright. i need to go and find out my schedule for today.
need to call up the tutor, and my fellow ballet people to find out what time rehearsal is today.
okay, so BYEEE.